


Not Blue But Copper

by Lucihive6



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst and Humor, Based after Dark Cupid, F/M, Identity Reveal, LadyNoir - Freeform, Oblivious Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Secret Identity, adrienette - Freeform, to the point where it was painful to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9715442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucihive6/pseuds/Lucihive6
Summary: Following up from Dark Cupid - In which Adrien's letter is too fresh in Marinette's head and therefore she somehow manages to convince herself that her green-eyed wonder is in love with Juleka Couffaine. This assumption leads to many twists, some unwanted, some... Not so much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Dark Cupid.  
> I've always wanted to write something for ML but never had the inspiration/ideas to do so until this train-wreck hit me like a train before the wreck. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

It had been approximately a week and three days since she had found the tightly scrunched-up wad of paper that contained the most romantic love poem that was to ever exist. At least, those had been Marinette's thoughts when she had been at least 90% sure that the poem had been written for her, but ever since she had replied to the poem and had posted it addressed to the Agreste mansion on the account of the surges of love filling the air and pulsing through her veins, she had come up short when receiving no reply.

Not that she had expected too. To be rational, she wasn't even sure _what_ she had been expecting. Adrien to show up to school in a t-shirt sporting sequins and spelling 'I  <3 Marinette'? The image she had conjured up was far too pitiful to be even the slightest bit amusing, so much so that she let out a lamenting sigh.

"What's wrong, Marinette?" Tikki asked, her usually bright blue eyes seemed rather dampened, as if Marinette's deflated mood had rubbed off on her. "You've been sighing a lot recently, are you tired?"

Marinette shook her head firmly, shaking away the pathetic fantasy. "Nothing's the matter, Tikki. You're right; I'm just tired."

Tikki hovered in front of Marinette for a while, analysing her expression before zooming over rather energetically to the letter that Marinette had kept pinned onto the wall. "Oh, Marinette! It's about Adrien's love letter to you, isn't it?"

"His love letter, yes, but not to _me_ ," Marinette replied dejectedly and Tikki let out a small giggle.

"Who else could it be for? Don't be so dramatic," Tikki lightly teased. A small smile graced Marinette's face in response.

"I'm trying not to be, Tikki. But I sent him back a poem! He must know it's me! But he hasn't said or done anything different! It's been a week and nothing has changed, yet everything has? Help me, Tikki!" Throughout her monologue, Marinette had resorted to begging on her knees to the black-dotted Kwami, her expression rather lost and desperate.

Tikki took in Marinette's words and after some careful thought eventually fluttered closer to her. "Marinette, I know this is hard for you - you were so optimistic about the letter, but there is a high chance that you didn't even sign your poem that you sent back in response." Marinette let out a small groan and flung herself melodramatically onto her bed, she couldn't deny that it wasn't a possibility. In fact, the chances were very high, and she felt a small ray of happiness pierce through her dark mood; maybe Adrien didn't know who the sender was and that's why he hadn't replied! It also explained as to why Adrien's behaviour towards her had remained the same.

Although, she began to question, even if Adrien had received the poem and it had been signed, he was self-assured and confident in his interactions with others, if he had found out that she liked him would he really change his behaviour towards her? If he didn't recuperate her feelings would he turn her down politely and carry on the same way he always had? She believed he would, after all, it wasn't like Adrien to cut somebody out completely if somebody liked him and he didn't appear to return their feelings. Marinette knew that he and Chloé were fairly close, and everyone knew how Chloé felt towards Adrien - she didn't have a habit of making it secret.

Tikki carried on, "even if you did sign it, he hasn't changed his behaviour towards you, isn't that a good sign? But then again, you can't make it more than ten minutes in his presence without getting overwhelmed and running away, Marinette, so how do you know how he treats you normally?" She smiled cheekily and Marinette pretended to glower at her while trying not to laugh.

And then something seemed to spark within her and Marinette realised something. She shot up from her bed and practically sprinted over to the poem pinned onto the wall, she traced the words with desperate eyes. " _Your hair is jet black_... It can't be Chloé then... _I want to ask who you are behind your mysterious mask_... What could that mean? Does it mean who you are inside like you said, Tikki?"

Said Kwami looked slightly on edge and drifted over to Marinette hastily. "It's getting slightly late and you've got school tomorrow, shouldn't you go to sleep?"

"Thanks, Tikki, I will. But I can't until I figure this out! You're right about me not being able to make it through ten minutes without running away whenever I'm with Adrien, Tikki. So how would I know how he acts around me compared to other people? He likes someone, and I need to know who before I lose my mind! ‘ _Mysterious mask’_? Like a facade? _Jet black hair_ and _eyes as blue as the heavens_... A _mask_..." And then she let out a loud gasp, as if all of the oxygen in the room had been stolen away and she was clinging onto the last lungful. At least, that's what it felt like to her.

"What is it, Marinette? Did you realise something?" Tikki asked, keen for a solution to the problem and slightly confused due to Marinette's horror-stricken expression.

"Tikki. I know who it is. Who Adrien likes and wrote this poem too."

If Tikki had eyebrows she knew she would have been raising them as if to say: 'you're only just now realising this?'

Marinette turned away from the poem and let out a quivering breath before pulling the corners of her mouth into an alarmingly bright smile. "Well, I'll go to bed, Tikki. I've got school tomorrow and we're getting out partners for the project in Literature studies! Good night, sweet dreams!"

Tikki could only watch in dismay and confusion as Marinette crawled haphazardly into bed, still grinning widely as if laughing silently at an inside joke.

"... You too, Marinette," Tikki responded quite limply. A slight coil of dread residing inside her stomach as she laid down and tried to get comfy. Although Marinette represented luck as Ladybug and often possessed good fortune herself, the red Kwami felt only dreaded things were to come to pass the next day. And how right she was.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're looking rather... Chipper today, Mari," Alya commented dryly on arrival outside of Marinette's locker, smirking slightly to gauge a reaction from her best friend.

"Yes, well, I've never felt chippier!" Marinette smiled wider which caused Alya to smile less.

"'Chippier', huh? Interesting choice of vocabulary. So, 'fess up. What's got you so 'chippier'?" Alya approached playfully.

"Oh, nothing really, just happy to have such good friends! Like you, and Nino- Hi, Nino!" Her ponytails bounced in a zealous manner as she stood on her tiptoes to wave energetically to Nino upon his arrival.

"Hey, Marinette, Alya," he smiled and adjusted his cap while Alya side-eyed Marinette. "You're looking bubbly this morning, Marinette. Anything good happen?"

"'Chippier'," Alya corrected to which Nino quirked an eyebrow. "She's just full of life due to her epiphany that she has amazing friends," she gestured to herself. "But I also think she's full of late nights and too much caffeine."

"Oh, right, well, I can kinda see that," Nino mused while Marinette continued her dance and tried to peer over Nino's head.

"Hey, so has anyone seen Juleka? She's got _'jet black hair_ ' and _'eyes as blue as the heavens_ '. Is she here yet?"

There was a simultaneous: "uh..." As Alya and Nino exchanged uncertain glances.

"Dude, I'm fairly certain she has brown eyes. Like copper. Not like the heavens," Nino said with a hint of nervous laughter, like Marinette was a coiled spring about to snap at any second.

"But have you seen her without her mask?" Marinette deadpanned suddenly, becoming eerily still and looking through Nino yet somehow looking at him. "Her hair is always in her eyes, has anyone actually seen her real eyes? It's like a mask... A _'mysterious mask_ '..."

Nino made an audible gulping noise and began to back away. "Um, I'd better get going to meet my boy, Adrien. Enjoy yourself, Alya. And, Marinette? Maybe get earlier nights..." And then he fled.

Alya watched him make his escape with puzzled eyes. "What was all that about?" She turned to Marinette. "Juleka? You'll see her in class." She put an arm around Marinette's shoulders and it seemed to snap her out of her trance as she blinked slowly before her shoulders heaved.

"I just creeped out Nino, didn't I?" Alya chose not to answer and instead rubbed between Marinette's shoulder blades. "He won't tell Adrien, will he?"

Alya shook her head. "I doubt it. It's not that big a deal. Now why don't we go and find Juleka. Did you want to talk to her?" She knew at once that it was the wrong thing to suggest if the slowly creeping smile on Marinette's face was anything to go by.

"Ah, yes. I have many a thing to tell her, you know!" Marinette sang and began performing her tippy-toe dance once again. Alya wanted to look upon her fondly but could only do so in perplexity; Marinette must not have slept in a week and replaced sleep with a tonne of coffee.

Unfortunately, Marinette's quest was cut short by the ringing of the bell. The harsh noise only seemed to make her more resilient and she continued her stride to the classroom, where once she had made it inside, rushed over to Juleka's bench and waited.

Alya simply shook her head at Nino once he entered and saw the sight of Marinette continuing her tippy-toe dance right next to Juleka's empty bench, seemingly performing for an invisible audience.

"Why does she wanna talk to Juleka so bad?" Nino asked, turning to Alya after he slid onto the bench in front of her. His eyebrows were hunched together and continued to tighten as Juleka walked through the classroom door alongside with Rose.

"She has 'many a thing to tell her' apparently," Alya responded, her voice laced with sarcasm and defeat as she watched Marinette's eyes widen spectacularly as Juleka approached her.

Juleka had approached Marinette rather warily and was met with a painfully tight smile. "Good morning Juleka, Rose," Marinette greeted chirpily. _Too_ chirpily.

Juleka only found herself becoming more confused as Marinette peered closely at her eye, and she picked at her bangs nervously. "Morning, Marinette. Are you okay?"

"You seem so happy!" Rose emerged from behind Juleka and let go of an easy radiant smile. "Did something nice happen?"

Marinette's smile almost seemed stuck onto her face like it had been painted on in comparison to Rose's graceful grin. "Not really. But yes!" She turned to Juleka so abruptly it caused the girl to flinch slightly. "So, Juleka. I know about your secret admirer!" Her voice dropped to a playful whisper. Well, it would have been playful if it hadn't sounded so hysterical.

"S-secret admirer?" Juleka stuttered, bashful and puzzled. "I don't have one of those... Have you got the right person?"

"I do!" Marinette imposed indignantly. "Unless, you don't have _'jet black hair_ ' or a _'mysterious mask_ '." She laughed slightly but her laughter sounded delirious.

"Are you allowed to wear masks to school?" Rose asked thoughtfully, appearing as if not to be disturbed by the way Marinette was rocking dangerously from side to side.

"Not a _mask_ -mask. But a facade, a persona! He wants to get to know the real you, Juleka!"

Rose's eyes dulled quickly upon the news but she covered up her deflated spirit by letting out a shriek and clapped her hands. "Oh, that's simply wonderful, Marinette! Who is he? Did he tell you? Oh, Juleka, you're so lucky!"

"I... Am?" Juleka spoke uncertainly, thoroughly confused as to what was going on.

"Yes!" Marinette replied enthusiastically, although her reply was too short to appear supportive. It almost seemed like an order. "He practically told me himself, it was so obvious I can't believe I didn't see it sooner! You two would be so... So... Amazing together." Her zealous nature had been rained upon and now she had deflated significantly.

Her mood change was drastic and left Juleka and Rose to exchange nervous glances.

"Everyone get back to your seats. The school day has begun," their teacher shot Marinette a pointed stare.

"Talk to you later," Marinette murmured limply and staggered down to sit next to Alya (ignoring the sudden strain in her purse), who raised her eyebrow.

"Girl, what was that about? Juleka has a secret admirer? Why didn't you tell me?" Alya's voice was a hushed whisper.

"If I had told anyone else then everyone would know! He would _totally_ not make a move if everyone knew, after all, look at him and Chloé!" Marinette hissed back, avoiding eye contact and concentrating on getting out her books.

Alya's eyebrows furrowed as she processed what her distracted friend had said. "Chloé? You don't mean... Adrien?" She mouthed, in fear that Nino might overhear, and Marinette looked resigned as she nodded.

"But how do you know? Did you ask him?" Alya asked doubtfully and was met a shake of a head.

"No. But he wrote this... This poem. And it described the girl he likes, so I convinced myself that it was me and sent him a poem in reply- only now I don't know if I've signed it, and now he's going to think that Juleka replied meaning that she likes him back! Oh, I've made a mess of things, Alya!" Marinette looked so disheveled and droopy that Alya couldn't even boggle at the complexity of the situation.

Alya bit her lip and patted her friend's arm sympathetically. "We'll sort things out- just don't think about him too much," was all she could say before the classroom door opened to reveal the person in debate.

"Adrien, you're late," Miss Bustier pointed out and gestured that he should sit down.

"Sorry, miss," he responded as he made his way to sit next to Nino, who smirked at him. "It won't happen again."

Miss Bustier cocked her head slightly as if debunking his statement and he grinned knowingly. "Well, you and Marinette seem to have habits of being late, and interrupting the class," she looked pointedly at said girl, who looked caught out. "If I catch you talking to Alya while I'm teaching, I'll have to move you."

"Sorry, miss," Marinette muttered foolishly while several people laughed. Chloé looked up at her triumphantly.

"Anyway, I was about to announce partners for the Literature project on William Shakespeare's play: Othello. You should all have your copy of the play with you. Now, when I read your name out, go and sit next to the person I have paired you with."

"Hopefully you get paired with lover boy," Alya muttered below her breath in a teasing manner. "Then you can sort this mess out."

Marinette's stomach lurched violently at the thought of having to explain to Adrien, the person of her uncontrollable affections, that she had been digging around in the rubbish for a poem she had watched him write.

She smiled weakly in response, one of the first real smiles Alya had seen all morning. "I doubt I'll be able too; your expectations of me are too high."

Alya chuckled and rolled her eyes fondly. Miss Bustier looked up from her list to Alya and spoke clearly: "Alya and Max. Max, move next to Alya. Marinette sit next to Kim, who is also your partner."

Marinette waved briefly goodbye to Alya and distractedly walked on over to sit next to Kim. "Hey, Marinette," he greeted with a nod of his head, she nodded back and mustered a small smile.

"Nino and Sabrina. _No_ , Chloé, Sabrina can't help you this time. Chloé and Nathaniel..." Marinette's conflicting thoughts distracted her from her teacher's voice and instead of listening she began to stare at her open book and thought of Adrien and Juleka. Adrien and Juleka holding hands.

"And... Adrien and Juleka. Adrien, please move next to Juleka."

Marinette stiffened, and whirled around to see Juleka sitting behind her, there was an empty space where Rose should have been. A vacancy that was going to be filled with Adrien. Adrien and Juleka.

A painfully bright smile etched its way onto Marinette's face and Juleka looked slightly surprised before looking away as if she hadn't seen.

Alya looked up from her phone below the bench after hearing the last pair of names. She saw how Marinette had turned to face the front with an unbearably flashy beam painted onto her face after Adrien had slotted in next to Juleka and flashed her an easy-going smile.

"Oh no," Alya dragged out, and Max looked at her and traced her line of sight before adjusting his glasses in confusion as to figure out what-the-heck-was-that on Marinette's face. "This is _not_ going to be good." And she was right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is even more oblivious meaning that she's even more extra


	3. Chapter 3

Marinette could not stop fidgeting. Usually when her creativity was flowing and she could hardly contain the urge to get her hands on a pen and a pad of paper she would start tapping her fingers or playing with her sleeve. However, in the certain circumstance she had resorted to opening and closing her purse repeatedly, shifting around on her seat, and clicking her pen irritably.

"Marinette!" Kim called eventually, after witnessing Marinette's, what appeared to be, the outcome of a caffeine withdrawal. "Do you wanna talk about the play now? We've been making notes but everyone else is moving on, and I can't get bad grade in this project."

Marinette had jumped slightly and reached to close her bag firmly, "um, yeah, sorry, Kim. Just a little... Distracted." Inwardly, Marinette had gone into full-blown-panic-mode. She felt her brain sweating. How could she concentrate on a tragedy themed play when a real tragedy was unfolding before her and she had no clue as to how she could stop it?

She had been focusing on the voices coming from behind her, Juleka had been giving the small input occasionally in her quiet voice but over time she had become slightly more confident. She must have even said a few amusing things because Adrien had let out a not-so-muted laugh.

"So, tragedy!" Marinette tried perkily, raising her voice so she couldn't hear Juleka's analysis of a scene. "We have a choice of three questions, which one did you pick, Kim?"

"Ah," Kim took his pencil from behind his ear and pointed at his notebook. "The evil one. About Machiavellian villains and Iago. It seems cool. Which one did you pick?"

Marinette remembered an arrow flying towards her, its intent to pierce her and pull her under one of Hawkmoth's villainous ruses. She recalled Chat Noir's frosty voice, declaring his fury-filled hatred for her.

"Villains..." The word fell out and Kim looked slightly confused.

"Yeah, is that alright with you?"

Marinette nodded firmly, clinching the deal. "Okay, so, Iago as a Machiavellian villain, right? Why don't we compare our notes on passages where he is most prominent? In fact, you gather those scenes and I'll gather scenes where he's watching everything happen."

Kim smiled, enthused. "Good one, Marinette! I've already got the context down, so we can move on to start writing it up after. I need to pass this project; I haven't really understood other project questions so I'm failing, but with this one I think we've got it in the bag," he looked too thoroughly involved in his task for her to continue the conversation and she was far too distracted to do so.

Marinette took Kim's studious silence as her cue to not only gather evidence from the play, but evidence from behind her as well. Evidence that Adrien liked Juleka. But how was she to know what Adrien acted like when he liked someone?

She took a deep breath, her eyes flitting across the page, too unfocused to be taking in the meaning of the words. She needed to find clues as to whether someone liked another person yet she didn't have the slightest idea how, and it wasn't like she could go and ask Alya right in the middle of the project, and she needed to know now! Someone who knew what love was like...

Marinette sucked up a gulp of air so quickly that she began to choke causing Kim to look up from his textbook wildly. "Marinette, you're choking!"

Marinette struggled to hold her breath to avoid any more violent coughs while also drawing in more breath to feed her oxygen supply. She was noticing that she was rapidly drawing more attention from her classmates around her. Especially from the two that she wanted to appear most invisible too.

"Do you need some water?" It seemed that today, luck was not on her side - so much for being Ladybug, she thought. Her already ruddy face had begun to burn bashfully as she desperately avoided eye contact with Adrien who was looking at her with concerned eyes and reaching towards the visible water bottle in his open bag.

"U-um, no, sorry- I mean, thank you! Well, _no_ thank you... I just need to the toilets go- go to the toilet!" In between breaks of hacking, Marinette had backed away while flapping her hands around much like a flightless bird. Talking to Adrien was one thing, but to have him looking at her like _that_ while she choked on her own air was nothing but overwhelming and humiliating.

She turned on her heel and tried to march away in a dignified fashion, although the effect was ruined when Chloé stuck out her leg and Marinette barely avoid tripping over it, causing her to stagger around slightly while Chloé let out a haughty chortle and flicked her hair in Marinette's direction.

Now, the dark-haired girl was humiliated and annoyed. She gritted her teeth while muttering her excuse to her teacher who nodded at her and told her to hurry back.

Once in the toilets, and after checking the stalls were all empty, Marinette let open her bag once again and called, "Tikki, you can come out now."

The Kwami did so eagerly, meeting the cool air. She looked at Marinette searchingly. "I heard a lot of things happening. What has happened now, Marinette?"

"It's a long story, and I don't have time to tell it; I'll tell you later," Marinette began before pressing her hands together in a Saint-like mannerism. "Please, Tikki, I need your help to fix this!"

Tikki cocked her head and then performed a loop before nodding with a smile. "Okay, Marinette. Of course I'll help you. What do you need?"

Marinette wasted no time and launched into her spiel. "Well, Adrien likes Juleka and now Adrien thinks Juleka likes him back because I wrote him back a poem - which I didn't sign - and so I told Juleka somebody likes her, and now she's working with Adrien and I'm stuck in front of them and I need to know if she likes him back and if he really does like her!" It all came out in a rush as a jumbled mess. Marinette's chest didn't feel any lighter. "I don't want both of them to be heart-broken over me messing up. Twice. I need to know how you can tell people like each other, and I don't know how Adrien or Juleka acts when they like someone… And since you've been around for ages - not that you're old - I figured you would know?"

Tikki blinked. Opened her mouth before closing it. Blinked again. A small giggle escaped. "Oh, Marinette, how do you end up in these situations?"

"I don't know!" Marinette breathed, exasperated. "So, can you give me any clues?"

The Kwami circled Marinette in thought. "Well, if they're openly affectionate about caring for one another is a good sign. Also, if they're willing to share things - feelings, or even lunch," Tikki let out a light titter and looped back towards Marinette - who was looking thoughtful - suddenly serious. "But it's different for different people, Marinette. You can't paint everyone with the same brush. Adrien may like Juleka, or he may like you, it may be impossible to tell until he says it. Or the other way around, regarding Juleka."

Marinette pouted slightly and Tikki instantly saw. "I know this is hard because you like Adrien, but sometimes things are just out of your control, even for Ladybug. It's not up to you if people get heart-broken or not. And who knows? Maybe he likes you! He'd be lucky to have you, Marinette."

The girl smiled shyly in response. "Thank you, Tikki. Thanks for everything, _really_." She salvaged her resolve and straightened her posture. "Alright, I'm going to go back out there! I'm going to work on this project with Kim to make sure we get the best grade!” She looked at Tikki and came up with a conclusion: “I've done all I can with Juleka and Adrien, and I'll have to leave them on their own."

Tikki grinned at her and swooped back into Marinette's purse. Once she was safely nestled inside, Marinette clasped the purse shut and walked back to class.

She tried to avoid looking at the people located at the back row and instead gave Alya a goofy wave. Once she had made it safely back to her seat, she confirmed to Kim in the smallest voice possible that, yes, she was okay, so as to not attract certain attention from the two people behind her. She threw herself into her task of jotting scenes and analysis' down while exchanging the odd comment about how to answer the question with Kim.

She really believed that she could make it out of the class without any more problems. She had resolved the problems within herself so why couldn't they be resolved in real life?

"Your analysis of water imagery is amazing, Juleka! Mind if I use it to talk about Othello's character development?"

Marinette's eye visibly twitched and she tried to play the mantra of: _it's not my business, it's not my business, it's not my business_ , in her head. However, it was cut short when a sudden thought etched its way into the crevices of her brain. " _If they're openly affectionate with each other."_

"R-really?" Juleka sounded pleasantly surprised. "Yeah, you can. Can I use your point on Devil imagery and Iago? It's awesome..."

"If they're willing to share things." Marinette suppressed an alarmed shriek and tried questioning with herself. Why did she care? If Adrien and Juleka liked each other, it was none of her business! She was happy for them, of course she was! It would just take a while for her to adjust seeing Juleka re-enact all of the scenarios she had dreamt up of her and Adrien. Watching a movie together. Going to a concert together. Talking together without spontaneously combusting. It would just take an adjustment that was all!

"Oh, cool, are you doing the context and meaning question?" Kim had turned around to strike up a conversation with Adrien and Juleka. Marinette resisted the urge to run from the room screaming, after all, she had _just_ left, she couldn't flee again! Her only choice was to seem rude and act uninterested with their conversation, which she couldn't do due to the bubbling pit of excitement because of the opportunity to talk with Adrien.

Hesitantly, Marinette swiveled around and settled on giving Juleka a wobbly smile.

"Are you feeling better, Marinette?" Juleka asked softly, her voice sounded compacted and Marinette was thankful so that the boys wouldn't naturally be dragged into their brief exchange.

"Loads, thank you," Marinette replied, her voice as small as possible. "I choked on air. I have no idea how, though.” She smiled sheepishly and Juleka smiled back.

"Stranger things have happened. Like last week," Juleka commented, a knowing smile on her face, obviously thinking of the reality of The Parisian Super Heroes.

"U-um yeah, that's true. Though it _would_ have been stranger if Ladybug and Chat Noir showed up to save me from choking," in a frenzy to be dissociated from the two, Marinette decided to associate herself with them, and then immediately regretted it as she locked eyes with Adrien who appeared to have dropped his conversation with Kim short.

"Are you talking about Ladybug and Chat Noir?" Adrien inquired, sounding curious.

Kim looked from Adrien's sheet to the newly formed group conversation. "I saw them recently!" His chest puffed and then deflated. "I didn't get to talk to them though; they ran off."

"Crazy," Juleka remarked earnestly, her voice holding an eerie whisper.

"What were they like?" Adrien asked Kim. Marinette leant in, a thrill crept over her as she took in for the millionth time how surreal being one of Paris' Super Heroes truly was.

"They were cool. But I guess they had somewhere to be 'cuz they took off. Ladybug first, I think," Kim scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. "Still can't remember what I was doing there, though."

Marinette, of course, knew exactly why Kim had seen her and Chat Noir, and she knew the reason why Kim couldn't remember a thing. But she wasn't going to press the matter; it would be much better for him to forget he had ever been a victim of Hawkmoth's Akuma.

She was about to open her mouth and spill a diversion but didn't have time as Adrien spoke up: "I can't even remember last week," reassurance disguised as a joke. The corners of Kim's mouth raised and Marinette exhaled a dreamy sigh while soaking up Adrien's radiance. "I don't even remember what Othello is about; I'm studying too many plays. Juleka's notes are the only thing saving me."

And the spell was broken. Marinette's faux smile grew across her lips and she scarcely blinked. Maybe she wasn't as okay with Juleka and Adrien being in love as she had previously thought. A sudden madness overtook her and she couldn't stop the words that overflowed from her mouth.

"I like Othello. Do _you_ like Othello, Juleka?" There was no pause for Juleka to have a chance to reply as Marinette unsteadily lurched on. "Speaking of _like_ , do you like anyone Juleka? Because you know that somebody likes you, so if you liked him back that would be so amazing!" Marinette found herself stealing Rose's words, only they were cheap copies. As soon as they poured out of her mouth, she wanted to rip them out of the air and steal them away from everybody's ears. She could not believe that she had acted like a bumbling, gossiping fool in front of shy Juleka, confident Kim, and calm Adrien.

There was a poignant silence after the words had shot out of Marinette's mouth and she could feel her lips twitching in an effort to keep a forced smile and not to burst open in a scream.

"Um," Juleka began, keeping her eyes on the pen placed in front of her. "I hadn't really thought about it... I don't really think that anyone could like me..." Her voice had started off faintly but had dropped to a low murmur. Marinette struggled to hear the end of her sentence. "Because no one really sees me anyway."

A feeling of... _Something_ (sadness, guilt, shame?) shot through Marinette and her false front instantly dropped as she grasped Juleka's hand. Juleka let out a small noise of surprise and looked through her hair to her hand and saw Marinette's clasped on top of it. She looked to Marinette and saw the steely resolve on the girl’s face.

All Marinette could see was someone who needed help. Maybe not someone in physical danger, like a civilian needing instant protection from a rogue flying car, but a classmate, a friend, who needed help seeing their true worth and potential. "But, Juleka, I can see you. _We_ can see you. You're the girl with an obsession with niche things and the girl with _'jet black hair_ '. And someone likes you! You are seen, don't believe that you're not!"

Coming back to her senses after the longing to help had settled down within her was when she saw the puzzled look in Juleka's eye and dropped her stare to their stacked hands. Marinette pulled away instantly, realising all too quickly what she had done. "Oh- sorry! I didn't... I just thought... You sounded down so I just thought that... Sorry." Marinette finished lamely.

"Um, no, don't be," Juleka said hesitantly after a moment's pause. "Um, thanks. Really." Marinette looked up slightly from hanging her head and saw a wide smile on Juleka's face. Although she didn't sound too sure of herself quite yet, Marinette was certain that that day would come. So instead of brooding over who Juleka liked and allowing herself to be controlled by her juvenile jealousy, she let go and smiled back. A real smile.

"Can one person from each pair bring their notes to the front so I can check through them? I'm allowing help just this once," Miss Bustier announced suddenly. Marinette checked the time and let out an alarmed gasp when she realised that the lesson was almost over and she had done the minimal amount of work due to her outbursts.

She turned to Kim in lightning speed and he looked slightly startled. "Listen, Kim, I'm really sorry for not doing the best today. I don't want to burden you with a bad grade, so I promise I'll try my best tomorrow!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Kim collected the papers and stood up. "You did great today.” She had an inkling that it wasn’t the work he was referring too. “Thanks, Marinette. I'll take the papers to the front." And he did so, along with Juleka, leaving Marinette a little breathless as she realised that if Kim had seen and heard her speech to Juleka then that meant...

She straightened her back and began hurriedly shoving pencils and pens into her bag, suddenly very aware of the suddenly still presence behind her.

Once she had ran out of things to place in her bag, she nervously observed Miss Bustier discussing feedback with Kim and Juleka, her eyes flicking towards the clock to watch the seconds of the clock, willing and wishing time to speed by faster.

"Hey, Marinette?" She jumped, although she had been expecting it, and began to crane her neck slowly to face Adrien, not wanting to turn her body to take in all of his shining radiance. She didn't think she could handle it, not after all the events of the morning.

"Yes?" She asked, once she had looked him in the eye once and then focused on Alix on the opposite side of the room.

Adrien was quiet and Marinette presumed that he had lost his original words, but to her the words he did speak indicated that he had thought too hard on them and he had chosen not to say it. "No, sorry. It's nothing," he smiled at her. The same easy-going smile he had given to Juleka.

Marinette's heart had already been pounding at an unsteady pace, beating in her ears, but now it was practically breaking its way out of her ribcage. Her pulse had sky-rocketed and for the millionth time in that two hour period she wished that she could yo-yo away. But instead, she pushed. "Are you sure?"

Adrien looked slightly taken aback and Marinette assumed that he was simply surprised that she had formed a coherent sentence - but she couldn't blame him. Or maybe he was a little shocked that she had pushed the matter.

The easy-going smile slipped from his face and turned into something more bitter. He looked from her and down onto his hands. "No, it's just... You reminded me of someone."

Marinette twisted slightly in her seat, earnest curiosity motivating her but he shook his head, indicating that he had clearly said too much.

"It's nothing important. But what you said to Juleka was," his eyes had softened and his smile seemed brighter. Marinette turned bright red and her neck became painfully flushed.

"Oh _that_ , that was nothing. Just... Common knowledge." She congratulated herself silently on not stumbling over her words. 

It seemed to her that Kim and Juleka had appeared out of nowhere as suddenly Juleka sat down behind her. She was still smiling, obviously her work had been sufficient. Her eyes locked with Marinette's and her smile slipped, then she looked at something next to her.

"So, Marinette," she let out a yelp as Kim emerged in her vision and she scolded herself that she didn't notice him sit next to her. She couldn't let her senses slip; she needed them to save Paris.

Kim was grinning at her and she looked back to Juleka, on edge. "What is it?" There was tension laced into her tone.

"Who's got a crush on Juleka?" Kim had raised an eyebrow in a triumphant manner. White hot panic shot through Marinette's veins and she suppressed the instinct for her eyes to dart over to Adrien.

The girl in question had turned pink and had her eyes cast down onto the table of the bench. "Kim told me who was going to ask you," she explained. "He said it was fair because I know who likes you-"

"Tit for tat!" Kim declared and looked at Marinette expectantly.

Marinette already had a sneaking suspicion who Juleka was referring too. It had been quite some time since the class had found out about Nathaniel liking her due to Chloé's proclamation, leading him to be Akumatised. Since then, although they had have brief exchanges, he didn't seem to be giving obvious signs that he still liked her (signs that she knew anyway, like sharing things or displaying affection), but she had seen him look at her in many occasions, from across the room or in the corridors, and she would have to pretend not to notice. The class may have forgotten about Nathanael's crush but she hadn't. And for it to be brought up again was a risk Marinette was not willing to take.

She looked from Kim to Juleka, but ran her eyes over Adrien's face to find that he was already looking at her. Her hands felt clammy. “I'm sorry, I can’t, It's just I don't think he'd want me to do it here. I think he would want to tell her himself first."

Kim shook his head as if he didn't quite believe it. "Well, he better get a move on. Now Juleka knows, she can't get kept waiting." Marinette restrained herself from casting a glance in Adrien's direction while some part of herself wished that Kim didn't have to say that. Adrien might be getting ideas, if he didn't already. Although she assured herself that she had accepted the reality of the situation, she wasn't sure she was ready to see the outcome of it quite so soon. She didn't think she would know what to do with herself if she ever saw Juleka's hand slip into Adrien's.

"Well, I think you should talk to your admirer. I think you may know who..." Juleka had spoken with an unusual surge of confidence. But her expression was grave. Had she spoken to Nathanael? But what had he told her?

"W-why?" Marinette questioned, a sense of unease unfolded itself within her.

Juleka looked as if she wanted to say more but she had scanned her surroundings and saw Adrien and Kim spectating the scene. She shook her head, like to say: 'Sorry, I can't say anything more.'

The bell rang, shattering the tension as Juleka climbed out of the bench while Marinette watched her with surprised eyes.

"See you later, guys," Adrien waved goodbye and walked down to Nino while Kim ran down the steps to best Alix.

"Juleka, has he talked to you? Because if he wants to talk to me he can!" Marinette urgently whispered, longing for a way to avoid hurting Nathaniel's feelings.

Juleka looked slightly out of place as she pointedly avoided eye contact. "Well, we've… talked once or twice and Rose brought it up. He sounds... Upset? So- I think- _we_ think - Rose and me - that you should talk?" Juleka sounded so insecure about pushing the issue that her voice had gone up in pitch in every wavering sentence.

"Juleka, it's fine. Thank you for telling me. If I had known I would have talked to him sooner," Marinette replied honestly.

Rose appeared behind Juleka and tapped her perkily on her shoulder. "Hello! Are you ready for break? Hi, Marinette!"

Juleka departed with Rose just as Alya seemed to finish something off with Max as he had packed up his bags and left. Marinette scampered towards Alya who was looking mightily pleased with herself.

They exited the classroom and made their way towards the lockers. "With that boy, I've got this project _down_! Only wish he wouldn't work me so hard, my wrist is killing me!" To enunciate her point she held up her wrist limply. Alya realised that Marinette seemed to be in a daze, so she poked the girl's shoulder. "Earth to Marinette! Oh yeah, did you talk to Juleka? And how was lover boy? I saw you two talking!"

Whilst Alya had been talking Marinette had stopped short and appeared blank when Alya looked back at her. "Come on, girl. Did you not hear a thing I just said?"

"I'm sorry, Alya. But did you see where Nathanael went? It's an emergency."

Alya blinked owlishly before resigning herself to Marinette's new quest. "Yeah, I think he went to the art classroom. I think that's where he goes during breaks."

Marinette nodded thankfully. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Alya! I'll meet you back at my locker and tell you everything! Gotta run!" She turned and tried to keep her pace steady although she seemed to be reeling all over the place. She sensed something off about the whole situation, but she couldn't let that stop her from talking to Nathaniel.

When she saw him through the door of the art classroom she saw that he wasn’t alone. He was accompanied with Ivan who seemed to be drawing a portrait of Mylène as she was visibly struggling to sit still and stare into space while Ivan had a pencil poised. His desk was cluttered with many other pencils and Marinette heard him call to Nathanael: “Which one do I do shading with?”

Marinette knocked timidly before he could answer. Suddenly she found that her nerve had gone and she was clueless as to what to say to him. What did Rose and Juleka even want her to talk to him about? But she knew in her heart that she wasn’t doing this for them, she was doing this for Nathaniel.

“Oh, hey, Marinette,” Ivan greeted as she entered, glancing fleetingly at her before returning to his task. Mylène smiled at her and looked like she was going to talk but then remembered her circumstance and decided against it.

She found her feet automatically walking over to Ivan, curious to see what his work would look like but then realised that she was putting off the matter at hand. She inhaled sharply, filling her air with lungs, before changing her course of direction and walking towards Nathanael who had seen her enter and only nodded in greeting.

“Hi,” she began, standing too far away from him for it to be considered a private conversation. But something was keeping her from stepping any closer. “Do you mind if, um... I talk to you? Somewhere more private? Unless you’re busy!” The more she spoke the more uncertain she made herself.

Nathanael had been looking at his, now closed, art book for the whole time she had been talking. This caused Marinette to become even more concerned. She started considering if he would even respond and was searching for the best escape route before he answered her.

“Yeah, we can talk. Um, there’s another classroom that’s usually empty next to this one.” He rose from his stall and began to lead the way. Marinette nodded eagerly and was keenly aware on Ivan’s eyes on them. Please don’t get the wrong idea, she silently pleaded.

The door to the connecting art room had been opened and was shut after Marinette entered into it. The silence was more daunting than welcoming and she subtly played with her sleeve with thinking of the words to say.

“Well, um... Juleka told me that Rose and her thought that I should talk to you because you looked... Upset?” Marinette cringed at the phrasing of her words and frantically tried to recover. “It was about that time in class where Chloé found your art and, well, you know…” Marinette had previously assumed that she wouldn’t have a problem talking to Nathanael’s about his feelings for her, but only when she was faced with the situation did she realise that she did have a problem. She wasn’t even certifiably sure if he still even liked her, she didn’t want to sound self-involved, and she didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing it up.

In a frenzy, Marinette focused her attention of the empty corner of the classroom, well away from Nathanael. “So, um, what was I going to...? Well, I just wanted to say that I don’t... I can’t... I – you know – someone else... Um- Sorry!” Trying to ignore the fact that she was just spewing nonsense, she forced herself to look at him. Although he looked somewhat deflated, he was standing tall and was engaging in eye-contact.

Marinette wanted to purge her thoughts. What am I thinking? She inwardly cried. It’s not like I expected him to start bawling because I don’t have feelings for him. No wonder he compared me to Chloé.

Amidst her silent breakdown, Nathanael had cleared his throat and panic scratched at her heart, causing her to totter on the heels of her feet as she waited anxiously.

“Marinette, it’s fine. I understand,” he sounded calm. Soothing, even.

“You- you do?” She checked, shocked that he had understood her rambling nonsense.

“Yes, I... I do,” the nervousness Marinette had expected from him had started to ease its way into his voice. “Rose asked me recently about... The comic, and although I was slightly stumped about why it’s like this, I completely understand why you can’t see people like that.” It was going so much better than Marinette had expected. Nathanael understood that she couldn’t like him because she liked someone else!

Marinette found a smile curving onto her face. “Thank you for being understanding, Nathan. Sorry if this is random, I just... Well, Juleka and... Yeah,” she was too overcome to speak. Finally, something on the cursed day had gone right and she had finally resolved something.

“No, no! It’s fine!” He looked away from her and down at his shoes, he suddenly seemed slightly more serious. “I’m the one who should be apologising, I mean... I _know_.”

Suddenly the feeling of unease made sense to her as she felt it multiply and pierce itself into her stomach. Her mind had come to a standstill and felt completely immobilised compared to her blood which was racing, gushing through her veins. “You... know...” She sounded the words on her tongue and heard how wrong they sounded in her ears. “You _know_? About me-?”

Nathanael nodded, it seemed as if he couldn’t bring himself to repeat it again. “But I haven’t told anyone!” He pointed out frantically. “And I never will! I promise!” He seemed desperate but earnest. There was a prominent pause which unnerved him. He took a few steps towards the door, his head down.

Marinette stayed rooted to the ground and let her mouth take over. “Was it that obvious?” She breathed.

Nathanael seemed taken aback and he paused, seemingly in thought. “I don’t think so,” his voice was quiet, disarmed. “I suppose it was just because I notice you,” with this Marinette de-rooted herself and turned to gawk at him. He flushed red and stammered out, “w-well, I’ll get back to drawing. See you in class, Marinette.” He seemed to not be able to get to the door fast enough.

Marinette couldn’t stay still and she couldn’t stay in an empty art classroom with the words: “I _know_ ,” resounding in her head. So she bolted and ran through the corridor, which was alarmingly filled with people in her class, gathering outside of the occupied art classroom. She squeezed her way through the crowd of people and escaped to her safe haven, to the toilets. Again.

Her purse had been straining and she hadn’t even noticed, her cotton-filled mind assuming it had been people knocking against her as she had strained to rush through them. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw her grief-stricken expression. With shaking fingers she fumbled with the clasp on her purse. A distressed Tikki soared in front of her. The Kwami’s eyes were perturbed and had lost their glimmer. “Marinette! Do you know what this means?”

“Yes,” Marinette answered, her voice raspy in disbelief as the reality of the situation dawned on her. She watched in the mirror as her eyes grew wide and she felt her stomach lurch uncontrollably as a dizzying feeling of horror washed over her. “Nathan knows I like Adrien! If it’s that obvious then- then...” A spark of embarrassment and humiliation pulsed within her, “Adrien _must_ know I like him!”

Even with the severity of the situation, Tikki allowed herself one eye roll.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was painful to write because after the Christmas special I felt it was too accurate. Come on, Mari


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I endorse the train wreck of wonder

Marinette should have known that an extended period of time without an Akuma attack was too suspicious for words and as per usual, Hawkmoth had the most inappropriate timing.

After Marinette had had her startling revelation in the toilet she had tried to calm down by breathing deeply and muttering incoherent chants such as: "he hasn't said anything, so he can't know," which lead to her only working herself up and backfiring her attempts at calming down as thoughts collided inside her head: 'what if he's only pretending to not know so he doesn't hurt my feelings?'

Tikki had watched the display in front of her with disbelieving eyes until eventually she couldn't take much more of it. "Marinette!" She yelled, her voice loud enough to cause a slight echo. "You've completely misunderstood the situation! Please try to calm down!"

Before Marinette could even respond the door shot open, Tikki instinctively shot into Marinette's purse.

"Mari?" It was Alya, peering searchingly around the door. Once she had sighted Marinette she breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought it was you. No one else would be giving themselves pep talks in front of the mirror. I suppose you must've heard what's happened, huh?"

Assumptions rampaged around in Marinette's brain, forming one big ball of stress and worry. Could Adrien have told somebody that she liked him? Had Nathanael told someone even though he had promised not too? What if someone had overheard their conversation? But how could they have known what the two were talking about?

She shook her head wildly. "No. What is it? Is it about Adrien?"

Alya frowned in concern and shut the door firmly behind her. "No, it's about Nathanael... And you."

" _Me_?" Marinette exclaimed, pointing to herself accusingly.

"I heard people talking about it as they were coming from the art corridor - I figured I'd meet you there since you were taking your time. Apparently you asked to talk to Nathanael alone. I heard Kim saying that you took Juleka's advice and that your secret admirer had asked you out. And then he ran off, declaring that the person who likes Juleka should ask her out next. Now, most of our class is gossiping about the two new couples." Alya had her arms folded as she leant against a sink, studying Marinette's dismayed expression. "But I can see that it's just gossip. If it were true, you would have texted me the outcome," she pressed, only somewhat teasing.

"Of course I would have if it were true!" Marinette responded automatically. "The only people who were in the room were Ivan and Myléne but it's not like them to spread rumours."

"That's probably because it wasn't them," Alya resolved and gave Marinette a dead-pan expression. "When I asked Kim who he had heard the rumour from, I wasn't surprised as to who it was. The identity of the gossiper is..?"

" _Chloé_ ," Marinette filled in, annoyance flooding through her. "She must have heard it from Ivan and Myléne. Chloé either followed me or they must have left the classroom and were talking about it."

Alya's eyes lit up. She shook her head in disgust. "And guess who I saw but didn't think of it as important as you ran to the art corridor? Chloé and Sabrina, talking about 'where did she think was going in such a rush?'" Alya grew dejected and grasped Marinette by the shoulders. "I'm sorry I didn't stop them, I didn't think much of it. Only that Chloé was being Chloé."

Marinette smiled wanly and patted Alya's hand. "It's not your fault, Alya. Thanks for coming to find me."

"Hopefully once you deem the rumour untrue, people will just forget about it," Alya pulled away from Marinette and raised her eyebrow in a teasing manner. "I can't say the same about Juleka though. If, like you say, Adrien does like her... In fact, how _did_ you find this poem that he wrote? And what did he say about the girl that he likes?" Alya had gone into full-blown reporter mode and Marinette felt eerily nostalgic as she had seen this side of Alya before but only with the mask on.

"Well... Funny story," Marinette began nervously, fumbling with her thumbs. "I may have founditintherubbish." Her words attached themselves together in humiliation and had come out in a clump. Alya's eyebrows furrowed together whilst attempting to de-jumble them.

"Oh, Marinette, you found it in the rubbish? Was he writing it in class?" Alya's expression was unreadable so Marinette decided to try and redeem herself.

"Okay, it sounds crazy and creepy but I was just really interested in what he was writing! He seemed so intense! So when he threw it away I found it when he left the room!" Marinette heard how deluded she sounded and wanted to tear out of her own skin just to escape from herself.

Alya just stared at her in disbelief until the laughter started and never seemed to cease. Marinette stood by and watched Alya try to talk between heaves of heavy laughter.

"Well, I didn't think it was _this_ funny at the time!" She tried indignantly.

"And what exactly did this poem say?" Alya managed to get out as she pushed up her glasses to wipe away stray tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

Marinette had memorised it off by heart, much like studying for a chemistry test, only she didn't want to appear too stalker-ish so she pretended to struggle. "Um, something about her having ' _jet black hair_ '? Um... ' _Eyes as blue as the heavens_ '? And, a 'mysterious mask', I think."

There was another poignant silence before Alya released a similar bout of laughter. "What's so funny?" Marinette questioned, desperateness clung at her tone and Alya tried to control herself.

"So, hold on, let me get this right," Alya breathed out slowly before recapping. "The boy threw his poem in the rubbish, which you picked up - correctly interpreted it to be talking about you - and then wrote him a reply and sent it to him without signing it."

Marinette nodded. "That's the gist of it anyway."

Her best friend rolled her eyes so impressively that it appeared they almost lost themselves in the back of her head. "So, Adrien received a response to his poem that he threw away? He must have either been so blown away by your romantic poem or he's just as oblivious as you, Mari," Marinette looked affronted and Alya put her hands up in mock-surrender whilst continuing to explain.

"He's either realised too well that only someone in his class could have seen his poem to the point that he may have thought your reply poem was an elaborate prank and decided not to bring it up," Marinette's heart sank a little at Alya's point. She really didn't want her act to be seen as mocking. "Or, he just hasn't considered as to how someone wrote him a reply to a poem that he trashed. Or, a conclusion I wish was likely, he hasn't read your poem at all. I mean, if he hasn't said anything it might be because he hasn't got anything to say because he hasn't read it."

"And why do you think that's not likely?" Marinette inquired in frustration, annoyed that her only hope to be rid of this mess had been snatched away from her.

"Because I may have asked if he got any cards on Valentine's Day and he said he got one he didn't expect to receive with a dreamy expression on his face," Alya replied coyly. "I asked him after class before I went to find you because you were talking about the poem you sent him. Are you _sure_ you didn't sign it?"

Marinette's innards had been set ablaze and now she was charcoal. "I am 101% sure after hearing _that_ reply! If he really felt _that_ way towards me I think I would know! Right?" She added, urging Alya to give her some advice.

Alya cocked an eyebrow. "Wake up, girl!" She announced, as if giving Marinette the divine resolution to her problems. "The poem! He clearly described you! How could you read that and think ' _eyes as blue as the heavens_ ' meant he was talking about Juleka?" Alya seemed stumped, as if Marinette's obliviousness had truly astounded her - which it had. "As Nino said, Juleka's eyes are like copper, not like the heavens!"

The bell had rang throughout Alya's exposure of Marinette's assumption, but the two girls had both mutually chosen to ignore it.

The bell had only added to the tension inside of Marinette and she felt her thoughts were zipping around her brain, not leaving her any room to form a coherent thought. A logical thought. "But the ' _mysterious mask_ ' part? It's metaphorical, it has to be. ' _Eyes as blue as the heavens_ ' is what's hiding underneath her mask. So, he wants to get to know and understand the girl he likes so he feels he deserves her, therefore meaning he can get her to unlock the gate of heaven, meaning she lets him in? Her mask is a facade, and it fits with Juleka because her hair always covers her eyes!"

Alya audibly groaned in frustration. "But not the _colour_ of her eyes, Mari!"

"It's metaphorical!" Marinette deflected, trying not to be swain, not sure what would happen to her if her assumption had been wrong all along.

"It's a description!" Alya defended, her mouth turned up in a smile, but not an amused smile, a 'I can't believe those words are coming from your mouth' type of smile.

"Okay," Marinette breathed, unable to gloss over the mass of the situation. "Okay, okay, okay. So if you are right - if he didn't write this poem about Juleka, what does it mean? He got my poem and said he didn't expect to receive it? Who does he think it's from?" The more questions she had, the more frustrated she became.

"And why does he not question where it came from?" Alya retorted, equally as frustrated as her blue-eyed friend. She was about to proceed with her rant but her phone buzzed, disrupting her train of thought. She pulled the phone from her pocket and checked the message.

"It's from Nino. He's asking where we are; class started five minutes ago," Alya sighed and stored her phone away. "I would usually suggest you talk to Adrien and try to sort things out but in your circumstance I have a feeling you'll say-"

"No," Marinette cut across. Her heart had gone shaky at the thought of confessing everything to Adrien. "I can't talk to him. I talked to him today and messed it up. I can't... I can't talk to him about this!"

Alya held the door open for Marinette. "So, what? You'll just never talk to him ever again?"

"No! I mean, yes? Maybe? Well, not today at least..."

"You're going to have to talk to him at some point. Either that or you debunk this whole Juleka thing and told her you made a mistake," Alya stated logically, an idea Marinette experienced a fresh wave of horror from.

"And risk her having her confidence destroyed when I made such a big deal out of someone having a crush on her? No way! I'm such an idiot, I swear I made it sound like someone having a crush on you gives you value!"

Alya ruffled Marinette's hair while climbing the stairs to their classroom. "Well it sounds like you're going to have to talk to her anyway. Look, you've made some assumptions and acted impulsively on them, but now you've figured out you were wrong - with the help of your best friend, who you can talk to at anytime - it means you've taken the first step to fixing the problem."

"Alya, I wish I were more like you."

"Is it bad if I say I wish you were too? Only so you wouldn't have gotten involved in this mess." Marinette would have slugged her only if it wasn't true.

The rest of the school day passed uneventfully for Marinette. Only the rumours of her and Nathanael being a 'thing' were still being fuelled by Chloé as she often sniggered over the 'Dorky Couple'. Of course, with Kim being extremely vocal it wasn't long before Chloé had heard the rumour about Juleka's secret admirer and had began to tear into that too. But as no one had stepped forward to confirm if it were true and Kim had stopped giving details of the secret of Juleka's admirer as soon as Chloé had overheard, the rumour was void and vacant, meaning Chloé had better things to do. Like announce fictional commentaries about the 'Dorky Couple's' interactions, which were non-existent and didn't leave Chloé a lot to go on.

The only thing, besides annoyance, Marinette had to deal with was deeming the rumour to be untrue to Kim and Alix when asked about it. Although she had tried to maintain constant quietness to avoid any interaction with Adrien.

As soon as school was over, Marinette waved goodbye to Alya, promising to call her later, and escaped from school and raced towards home. She greeted her parents non-verbally and only responded with a nod and a faint smile as her mum told her that she had left the compacted door which led to the balcony open to air out her room. When she retired to her bedroom she flopped onto her bed, threw her bag onto the floor, and closed her heavy eyes. Blindly, she swept her hand to her side and unclasped her purse, allowing her Kwami to be free.

"Today was exhausting," Marinette murmured into the pillow, quite willing to curl herself into a ball and take a long nap to forget about her woes of the day.

Tikki must have hovered away from her and up towards the balcony because when she next spoke she sounded muffled. Suddenly Marinette tuned in to a variety of different noises, most of them being police sirens and the sound of a blaring horn. "As much as I need to talk to you about today, Paris needs you the most! You better transform! Quickly, Marinette!"

Marinette struggled to lift her head from the pillow, she felt like her neck was too weak and her head was too big for her body. "What? Why?" She fell from her bed and clambered up the stairs and over to where Tikki was positioned behind the balcony.

The girl squinted to focus her vision and was met with the sight of police cars speeding down the street in chase with what seemed to be a clown on a unicycle. Only when Marinette peered closely did she see that the clown had a vivid grimace with piraña-like teeth and his horn was spawning masses of weeds that curled around the surrounding buildings, halting the police cars and tangling around the civilians. "Soon all of the cities in France will have been visited by my one-man circus!" The criminally insane clown screeched at the top of his lungs into his horn, which also served as a megaphone.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Marinette exclaimed in grief as the weeds began ensnaring police officers into its grasp. It seemed that luck really was not on her side today and she couldn't believe her day had somehow managed to become worse.

A small spark of hope flared to life within her, perhaps luck would be brought to her one time today. "Alright, Tikki, _spots on_!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments left for this train-wreck have spilt the truth tea everywhere and I have tried to channel the logic through the voice of reason, Alya. In the next few chapters I shall try to incorporate a literal train-wreck and dorky Adrien because he needs to let his inner dork shine through. I'm also glad people seem to be enjoying this story! Thank you for all the insightful comments! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Most days when Marinette was summoned to take on the role of Ladybug - one half of Paris’ Superhero duo - the newly-awakened surge of power would rush through her and she’d feel invisible. Along with her yo-yo, the fierce need to protect, and her partner, Chat Noir, she would feel as though nothing could measure up to be an obstacle and the threat of Hawkmoth was distant, as if his power could be squished easily, just like a moth itself.

However, on some other days, when the struggle and stress to maintain a double life had caught up with her and began eating at her from the inside, the usual over-whelming power would slip – and, of course, she would still do whatever it took to ensure the evil was eliminated. Her heart was still in it, but she was just _tired_.

It just happened to be one of those days, where the exhaustion and worry she had collected throughout her day had piled on top of each other and was not to be shifted, even as the mask shifted her identity from civilian Marinette Dupain-Cheng to the Superhero Ladybug. She tried to resist all thoughts of the poem and the Juleka-And-Adrien situation to concentrate on the situation at hand.

  
She relied upon the sudden buzz of adrenaline to overcome her tiredness as she swung from rooftop to rooftop, dodging weeds that lashed out and attempted to entrap her by her ankles, feeling the light wind dance upon her skin. On most days she would have relished the experience, a thrumming of good feeling buzz throughout her veins, and having the wind reciprocate and make her skin feel warm, as if she were shining. But as it were not most days, she only grew a sense of annoyance as she managed to dodge yet another irksome weed.

She could hardly wait to free the clown from being a victim of Hawkmoth’s Akuma so she could crawl back into bed.

Marinette as Ladybug ran an eye over the clown who was pedalling at a furious rate down the streets of Paris. She focused on his horn that he was clutching rather tightly in his gloved hand. ‘That must be it,’ she thought to herself, turning her attention to the building up ahead of her. ‘That’s where the Akuma is.’

Seeing no point in continuing the chase any further she swooped down from the rooftop and angled herself to drop directly in front of him. The clown screeched to a halt upon his unicycle and glared at her in distaste as she swung her yo-yo like a lasso. “Ladybug! How expected of you to drop in!” The clown snarled through his horn and she cringed in pain as the soundwaves resonated unpleasantly within her ears.

"Unfortunately, you’re far too early to see the main event! I haven’t reached the venue yet!”

  
“ _Unfortunately_ ,” she mimicked, sizing him up. “I’m not in the mood to see you perform so I’m afraid you won’t be able to reach your venue!” She threw her arm forward with great momentum, arching her back so that her yo-yo flew from her hand and looped around the handle bars of his unicycle.

She was about to pull towards her so he was within her reach so that she could snatch the horn when the clown let out a cry of distress and began pedalling manically, causing her to cling onto the yo-yo string and allowing herself to be dragged alongside him.

  
“If you’re not patient enough to wait then I suppose we will have to cut my Paris tour short!” The clown barked. “I am the Crowned Clown! The most famous and desired clown in France! No, the whole world!” Ladybug was finding difficulty in letting the clown drag her in order to slow him down as he consistently was gathering speed and eventually she no longer could touch the ground.

“Everyone wants to come and see my show! So I’ll stop in every country to perform! Boys and girls of all ages! And if any of them laugh at the wrong reasons and fail to see the humour of my act then they’ll face my wrath!” He let out a series of raspy laughs which led to a nest of weeds to crawl out of his horn, now she was up close to them she could see that there were a multitude of flowers entangled in them much like the one attached to the crazed clowns’ jacket.

“Crowned Clown!” She abided, calling for his attention. “Where is your venue for your great performance?” A plan formulated in her mind.

  
“Like I would ruin the surprise!” He responded, rolling his eyes as if she were an ignorant child. “But I’ve a few things to set up, so you’re going to have to get off here, Ladybug!” She frowned in confusion but her puzzlement quickly dispersed when she saw a turn fast approaching. A haze of purple ascended across the clown’s face and he wheezed in pain before barking out: “I will! I have to set up my performance first!” He swerved abruptly, causing her to circle a lamppost and lose grip of her yo-yo’s grasp of the unicycle.

She heard the sound of laughter growing fainter as she let out as gasp of surprise after springing from the palms of her hands and landed on a surface nothing alike the pavements of Paris. It took her briefly a moment to process what had happened before hearing the much-awaited voice of her partner greet her in his usual playful manner, bordering on the edge of flirting. “You always know how to sweep someone off their feet, don’t you, M’Lady?”

She shot up hurriedly and scanned her surroundings. The Akumatised victim had managed to escape.

"He got away,” she remarked, and then grew frustrated as her mission had been prolonged.

“Why didn’t you stop him?” She turned on Chat Noir who had sprung up energetically and was now leaning on his baton.

Annoyance run amuck within her, digging up the fresh failure the day had brought.

Chat Noir looked slightly affronted. “I had just gotten here when he sped ‘round the corner! Besides, what’s the point in me going alone when you’re here?”

Still Ladybug looked unsatisfied with his explanation and she watched as his confusion melted away and condensed into concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” She spat out instantly, not processing his words. She quickly realised that her attitude wasn’t helping the situation, and feeling slightly warmed at Chat Noir’s comment on them working together she exhaled sharply and explained the information she had gathered. “That creepy clown is Hawkmoth’s latest victim, and his horn is where the Akuma is. He said something about setting up his ‘big performance’ so that the whole of France could see it. He said he wants to stop in every country to perform. I’m betting that he’s going to that ‘venue’ now. Any ideas as to where that may be?” Her head was empty and straining, trying not to pull up any recent memories that the day had cursed her with. Anything that Chat Noir could give her right now would be a blessing.

He traced the street thoughtfully with his eyes. “’So that the whole of France could see it’, huh?” An impish smile crossed his face and he looked back to her with a zealous intensity. “He’s probably heading towards a train station. And if he went that way it means he’s probably aiming to take over Gare de Lyon.”

  
A puzzle piece slotted itself into place in Marinette’s mind and a smile that matched her partner’s slid across her face. “Smart kitty,” she praised warmly and he preened. “Now let’s go, we’re running out of time!” Using her yo-yo she jumped from the pavement and soared upwards onto the top of a building. She didn’t even have to check to see if he was beside her, she knew she could trust in him, just like she could trust in her own powers.

Another stream of adrenaline gushed through her veins as they took off towards the station. Along the way Marinette spied the Crowned Clown who was still manically pedalling in a deterministic manner, weeds continued to sprout around him, causing access to main streets to be cut off by the ever-growing clusters.

  
Marinette took her eye from the target to find the usually open and bustling streets of Paris becoming restricted, entrapped in a one way maze. A one way maze?

  
“Chat Noir! He’s planning to get everybody in Paris to go to the train station! We need to cut off access to the Gare de Lyon!” She called out, barely avoiding the imprisonment of a lay-away weed.

“You say the weeds come from his horn, right?” Chat Noir called back to her, his voice was thoughtful. “I have a plan. You distract him.”

She voiced her agreement and swung towards lower ground, making sure to appear within the clowns’ peripheral vision. He saw her but it didn’t seem to stop him, in fact it seemed to only make him pedal faster. Marinette was mildly surprised the wheels of his unicycle hadn’t started to steam.

“Crowned Clown, stop what you’re doing!” She yelled, trying to make her voice soft. “If you’re forcing people to come and watch you perform then you’re not really famous! Stop making a maze and let people come to you on their own!” It was no good, although she knew it was a lost cause but she continued to enable Chat Noir’s plan, whatever it was, to work. “With your amazing talents I’m sure people would come out of their own free will!”

Shockingly, the clown screeched to a halt which caused Marinette to swing back her yo-yo and use the momentum to push her feet against the ground and flip over in order to stop completely. The crazed clown was looking at her with droopy features, and it looked like he was about to make the face paint portrayal of a clown crying come to life. “Do you really mean it?” He asked, his voice quiet. Marinette was thrown slightly but refused to let it show.

“Of course I do,” she replied, stepping forward slightly, aiming to snatch the horn from the victim’s hand. As she focused on the clown on the unicycle it was only then that she truly took the background behind the man in. Right in front of her, behind the crazed clown, lay the Gare de Lyon. Her stomach tightened considerably, why had the clown stopped right before reaching the venue? Where was Chat Noir?

And suddenly the answer was thrown right in front of her in the form of the clown. The Crowned Clown had flung himself from his unicycle armed with his horn, arm outstretched in front of him. In shock from the sudden movement she instinctively reached towards her yo-yo, her heart thudding, keeping a sharp eye on the man’s twitching fingers, itching closer and closer towards her ears.

She pushed herself backwards in order to escape, just in time as Chat Noir’s baton sailed smoothly in between her and her attacker, knocking the clowns’ horn from his gloved hand, causing it to fly through the air.

The owner of the baton had appeared on the other side of her and grabbed the horn just as she used the heels of her feet to jump up and throw herself out of harm’s way. The clown landed heavily on his face a few feet away from her but began to clamber up just as her lungs had snatched up some breath.

Her head was spinning and she felt herself swaying even though she wasn’t standing. What had happened to her? Why didn’t she move sooner? It wasn’t fright and it wasn’t shock; close calls were her closest enemy, she was no stranger to fast movement from the opponent. Was tiredness overcoming her strength?

Her unfocused eyes blinked themselves back into the present when she heard a gargled cry.

She quickly found herself alone on the ground, the clown and his unicycle gone and weeds quickly spreading around the station. Chat Noir must have used the horn to ensure that the entrance would be blocked off using the clowns’ weeds against him. The gargled cry was him shouting into it to cause the weeds to grow.

Marinette forced herself up from the ground in order to avoid being entangled by the weeds as they were reaching out from the wall-like structure they were building. Her breathing was heavy and strained so she tried to suppress all of her breaths into deep, shuddery inhales which caused her head to spin less. Suddenly she become overwhelmed by memories that she had tried to prevent from arising, her mistake of assuming Adrien liked Juleka, spreading false information to the reserved girl, and the heavy knowledge that somebody knew her feelings towards Adrien. If somebody she barely spoke too knew her feelings for the blond-haired boy there was a high chance that said boy knew too but hadn’t said anything to spare her feelings. Maybe Adrien simply didn’t care enough too.

Somehow the thought that Adrien didn’t care enough to reject her was exceedingly more painful than the thought of being told face-to-face that he could never see her in that way. She was just the stuttering, stumbling, blundering fool in his class. Even if Adrien didn’t like Juleka, what had ever given her a glimpse of hope that he would like her?

Why did it even matter? She was Marinette, Ladybug - the Superhero of Paris, protecting citizens, validated and important being needed by thousands! But through and through, underneath the costume and the mask, she was still Marinette. Why couldn’t she feel validated and important simply as Marinette, without the Superhero persona? Why couldn’t she ever be enough? 

"M’Lady?” The voice was muffled, muffled enough to be placed as imaginary, and she pinched her eyebrows determined not to be interrupted. Why was she placing her value on what people thought of her? Did she truly believe that she was only worth something if people liked her? No. No, That wasn’t her. “Ladybug?” The grip on her arm wasn’t imaginary in the slightest and it caused her enough shock to be snapped out of her daze.

Chat Noir’s eyes held nothing but worry and his gaze was so intense that it caused her to stare back, unblinking. She found herself becoming grounded, enough so that her breathing returned to its regular pace. “Are you hurt?” His voice held anger wrapped in concern. His hand was warm on her arm.

"I’m... Okay,” she got out unconvincingly, uncertain about her powers and her thoughts. “Good job, you blocked it off. Now to destroy the Akuma.”

Chat Noir responded by shaking his head and looking away from her, she followed his eyes to find small shards littering the ground. “I destroyed it with my Cataclysm but there was no Akuma inside. I think it’s inside of the flower he has attached to his jacket; it was the same one that was attached to all of those weeds.”

Marinette looked from the rubble up to the station building when she felt another presence. The clown was now standing on top of the pointed clock tower, balancing with complete precision, his mouth making exaggerated movements. His voice was too small and tinny to be heard without the megaphone but he was obviously taunting them.

Once they had been seen him, he smiled somewhat dementedly and jumped down, running inside.

Without any verbal exchange they ran in after him and were met with the Akumatised victim climbing inside head end of a train, grabbing hold of the gears, eager for the train to start. “Roll up! Roll up! The one-way performance of a lifetime is about to begin!” The clown’s mocking voice ran throughout the station.

The train suddenly let out an alarming squeak and began to move backwards.

Upon hearing the criminally insane clown again, she felt annoyance spark through her. She jumped into action, peering at Chat Noir’s ring. “We only have five minutes to stop him! Distract him while I come up with something...” He cocked a smile and sprung himself onto the platform, vaulted onto the top of the train and dangled himself over the head end, searching for the right button to stop the train as it continued to climb backwards.

Marinette watched briefly as the train made its way from the platform and began inching its way into a tunnel. She wasted no more time: “ _Lucky Charm_!” She called out, tossing her yo-yo into the air and feeling a new surge of energy rush through her.

An unusually thick piece of elastic fell into her open hands and she searched it quizzically. But she could practically feel time slipping away from her as her Miraculous began its countdown so she searched the station with observant eyes.

The station fence on either side of the platforms flashed with a vibrant red dotted with black, pulling her attention away from the monochrome colours her eyes usually picked up as Ladybug. She looked from the elastic in her hand to the fence and finally to the train as they all glowed with the same bright colours. 

The information clicked itself into place and without hesitation she swung herself to one side of the platform, wrapping part of the elastic around a section of the fence. Praying it was strong enough to stay in place, she bounced from the platform to the train roof and then onto the opposite platform to do the same to the elastic. She then followed Chat Noir’s footsteps, and pulled herself onto the train - which had begun to pick up pace – with her yo-yo.

"He’s done something to the controls! I can’t stop it from here!” Chat Noir cried out desperately, seemingly waiting to be ripped off from the train’s roof by the wind as the threat of the train getting swallowed by the tunnel loomed closer.

The carriage of the train seemed to flash red beneath her feet and her eyes widened before she turned rapidly towards Chat Noir, “climb into the train from there and pull the brake! Otherwise the elastic won’t hold for long!”

“But he won’t move!” Chat Noir hissed at her, gesturing towards the open window where the crazy clown was lurking inside the head front.

Her eyes narrowed, “well, we’re going to have to get him to come out,” she didn’t need to look behind her to know that they were dangerously close to the tunnel opening. She raised her voice, “well, it looks like no one turned up to your performance, Crowned Clown... Or was it ‘Crazy Clown’?”

Said clown almost knocked Chat Noir off of the train by sticking his head out of the window, “I’ve already been made a fool of, Ladybug. Nothing you say can make me feel hurt,” his grin was disconcerting but she refused to let it shake her. “Nobody took me seriously at the circus where I was just one of the acts, but now I’m my only act! The one-man circus, starring: The Crowned Clown!”

The absurdity and danger of the predicament seemed to catch up to her, along with the dreaded frustration and regret over how the day had played out, as the tiredness dwelling within her churned itself over and developed into white hot fury. “You’re a _clown_!” She spat out, her voice straining with its elevated volume – she saw Chat Noir turn to look at her in surprise and ignored him. “You’re not supposed to be taken seriously! People are supposed to laugh at you! That’s your job!”

The crazy clown was not simply angry with Ladybug’s outburst. He was beguiled with rage. He began to clamber out of the window, his eyes glazed with wrath and covered with a purple haze. Chat Noir tried to stay completely still so as to not break the clown’s concentration on revenge. 

"You don’t know anything about the circus, Ladybug! Your job is to be a Superhero and even you can’t stop me!” His eyes blazed but she held her ground, she spied Chat Noir slipping through the window and hoped he made it in time.

She took a step back, keeping her eyes on the clown, not allowing her attention to stray for one second. “Give up, Ladybug. You’re over! Your only job is to give me your Miraculous!” He screamed in agony-coated anger and lurched towards her, his hands swinging wildly.

Just as the train rammed against the elastic she felt herself restrict somehow. She only had a minute left. “Now!” She called, lifting her voice over the screech of the train as it tried to move past the barrier of elastic. She crouched forwards and began to run, fighting against the wind, her arms outstretched. The elastic continued to give way but tighten around the train, restraining it from gathering speed.

With the clown’s outstretched arms in reach, she threw out her yo-yo and grabbed the victim from around his waist, throwing him over her shoulder. He stilled for a while as she circled from the train and onto the platform. Being so near him she seized her chance and grabbed the flower from his jacket just as the screech of the train magnified in volume as it braked and strained against the elastic. The force of the elastic caused the train to push forward slightly, avoiding the fence from being torn down as the elastic pulled itself from the opposite platform and snapped towards her. Chat Noir had managed to pull the brakes on time.

With the seconds slipping away from her she ripped the petals from the flower and then crushed the stalk beneath her feet. As the Akuma detached itself from the stalk and tried to escape, Marinette opened her yo-yo and with a swipe of her hand holding the string and a beam of light, she had captured the Akuma.

“ _Bye bye, little butterfly_ ,” she grinned as the feeling of victory raced throughout her. 

“ _Miraculous Ladybug_!” She grasped hold of the elastic on the floor near her and threw it into the air as it unravelled itself from the fence it was attached too. All of the frustration that had harboured itself within her seemed to melt away, and the damage that the clown had done fixed itself.

The previously Akumatised victim began to come to his senses and groan whilst he was on the floor. Light enveloped Marinette and as she reverted back to her civilian self a sense of unease pricked within her. If Chat Noir was still here, how would she get out without him seeing her? 

She ran to the front of the station and peered out. Nobody. And no weeds either. It appeared as if Chat Noir had de-transformed before her and had fled. Feeling a small sense of relief, she exited the station before summoning up a large voice and directing it towards the clown, who couldn’t see her from where he was positioned: “You were Akumatised, but you didn’t hurt anyone. It’s all okay now, try and reflect on what being a clown really means to you.” And with that, she bolted from the station doors and took the long way home, avoiding using any main streets that would bring attention to her.

It had been too close. Far too close. She barely had had enough time to dispel the Akuma. She tried to refrain from thinking about what would have happened if she hadn’t. Suddenly the school day seemed light-years away from her and nothing seemed to be as important as she had previously believed it to be.

And only in a vacant alleyway with towering buildings enclosing around her, only letting in sparse amount of light, did she let a singular tear slip down her cheek - carrying with it the tremendous amount of pressure placed upon her, the panic and breeding fear caused by her almost-failure of being a Superhero, and her feeling of worthlessness entwining with tiredness.

"Come on, Tikki," she breathed out, alarmed but not quite caring about how her voice quivered. "Let's get you home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the trainwreck ended up not actually being a trainwreck but dont worry the story makes up for it - and wow i suck at updates, but the next update will be tomorrow! Also, i have no idea how trains actually work and i have no clue how the train network runs in paris so sorry for any inaccuracies 


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning dawned far too quickly for Marinette's liking. Her sleep had been heavy yet, unsurprisingly, quite fitful, and when she did awake her phone alerted her that it was past noon and she was supposed to have been working on her part of the Literature project

Tikki was still snoozing soundly when Marinette stumbled out of bed, slapping herself lightly to feel more alive, which deemed unfruitful as it only made her face appear patchy, as if she had a rash plastered across her cheeks.

The sun was shining which contrasted her sluggish movements matching her mood; her thoughts were uncoordinated and incoherent along with her footwork. After a trip to the bathroom she had wanted to sit down and begin working on the project but only found herself sprawled on the floor after tripping over a slipper.

She fell onto the ground with a dull thud and didn't even find it within herself to groan with pain. The Slipper Debacle caused Tikki to startle awake and she hovered over frantically to Marinette's side, who was staring blankly in front of her from the floor.

"Are you okay, Marinette? What happened?" The Kwami sounded frazzled and Marinette blinked and gathered herself up from the floor.

"I'm not hurt," Marinette stated, and it was true as her body wasn't sore from the impact of the fall. "Just... I don't know. I messed up, Tikki. I wasn't myself yesterday when I was Ladybug, I was too _my_ self, too Marinette-ey." She drew her legs closer and wrapped her arms around them, burying her head in her knees.

Tikki grew worried and immediately rushed to comfort Marinette. "You are Ladybug, Marinette. You can never be too much of yourself. You just had an awful day yesterday, and you were tired."

"That's not an excuse!" Marinette cried, her head snapping up and her eyes large with frustration. The failure that had been concocted inside of her was frothing up and over-spilling, causing anger and fear to circulate within her. Her voice was high-pitched with peril and it struggled to get out at such a harsh volume. "I have a duty to protect people who put their trust in me. If I fail them, I fail protecting innocent lives! I fail protecting the legacy of Ladybug _and_ the Miraculous!" 

Her outburst startled her Kwami, who was taken aback and only recovered after Marinette shook her head and murmured an apology. "Marinette..." Tikki approached carefully. “You didn't fail. And you won't fail. The Miraculous _chose_ you! You are the only one who can be Ladybug; you wouldn't have been chosen if you couldn't handle it!" A zeal of enthusiasm overcame her and Tikki circled Marinette's bowed head.

"But, Tikki, I was so close to letting my identity being revealed, to letting the Akuma go. The Clown almost got hold of my Miraculous. It wasn't just one mistake - I was so close to failing at everything," Marinette's voice was a whisper, heavy with unwavering despair.

"Marinette, everyone makes mistakes, even Superheroes..." Tikki trailed off, casting her mind back. "What's brought this on? Is it about what happened yesterday at school?"

The word 'school' seemed to have jogged something within Marinette's mind as her eyes glistened with worry and she looked towards her schoolbag. "The project!" She hissed in panic. "I have to finish my part of the essay and meet up with Kim to complete it!" 

"Yes, that _is_ important, but... Marinette!" Tikki's calls fell on deaf ears as the messy-haired girl fell about setting up her desk in essay-writing preparation. “Marinette! You can do this later, so stop distracting yourself and face the problem before it gets worse.”

Marinette stilled suddenly, her pen clutched in her hand. “Tikki, the problem here is me, and I can’t fail again.” Yet her face told of an uncertainty and the Kwami found herself at a loss of how to reach her.

The room was filled with music that felt misplaced as Marinette worked steadily. It was too upbeat, too zealous for her sensitive exterior. She elaborated on the notes she had made yesterday, feeling only a small stab of pain when seeing her shaky writing due to her hyper-active state which had led to her feeding Juleka false information and creating a problem which she didn’t seem to be strong enough to deal with.

Hurriedly moving onto her next task without dwelling on her solemn thoughts, she texted Kim a location and a time and they agreed to meet in an hour at the public library. It left her without enough time to get ready and grab a sandwich - and freshly baked cookies for Tikki.

Although it was noon on a Saturday, Marinette found that the streets were unusually quiet, which usually she would be content with as it would have left her alone with her thoughts and the scenery of Paris. However, today was not the day for her to be isolated with only her thoughts for company, and it wasn’t like she could strike up a conversation with Tikki – who seemed to be sulking slightly at her refusal to co-operate – as even though the streets were rather sparsely populated, she was still out in public.

When the public library swam into view Marinette felt a cathartic sense of relief and practically ran towards the building. Once inside, she set about tweaking the last few points of her conclusion before Kim arrived with his own draft. 

After much debate and checking over their work, they finally completed an essay they were happy with. Marinette ensured Kim with a hearty smile that they were guaranteed an amazing grade which left Kim swanning out of the library in pride.

Having slept in most of the day, Marinette was slightly dismayed to find that it was getting on to 7 and her parents had tried to get a hold of her much to no avail. She texted them whilst on the trip back and reassured them that she would be back home soon. 

Placing her phone back in her purse, her thumbs felt bereft without movement and she felt slightly at loss with what to do with them now that her hands were empty. She looked up to see that the sun had already begun to set and a muted darkness had taken grips of the day. Rare glimpses of the stars her eyes clung onto as the clouds drifted in front of them, her breathing slowed as she took a moment for herself, allowing her head to empty. She had chosen to ignore the rooftops until she saw movement atop of one of them – the tallest building. Her footsteps halted and she craned her neck to get a better view, but there was either nothing there to begin with or the object had moved out of sight.

She narrowed her eyes and then continued walking, she was too on edge, too desperate to get away from the thoughts circulating in her head which had now resurfaced with regenerated aggression.

Citizens trickled out of shops and passed her by until she turned into an alley and sped down it rather hurriedly; it was darker than she had realised. She came out on the other side, still a few streets away from her home when she saw the movement again. A shadow moving on the rooftops. A figure in black, aimlessly crossing from rooftop to rooftop and then pausing slightly and soundlessly, as if admiring the view of the sky.

Marinette’s heart began to speed up as panic caught hold of her lungs. It was Chat Noir.

What was he doing outside when there was no Akuma attack? Was he patrolling? 

She knew that it was none of her business, and that she should turn around and walk back home, away from the impending darkness that was night that threatened to overshadow the whole world. But when she was home in the brightness of her bedroom with Tikki who seemed eager to talk to her about facing her problems, where could she escape too?

 _Escape_. Her eyes focused on the figure again who was on the verge of vaulting out of her sight. Almost as if he were running away.

Marinette returned into the alley again, glad that the darkness cast a veil around her, and waited a few moments that dragged on for eternity before transforming as inaudibly as possible: “Tikki, _Spots On_!” She announced as quietly as she could while still being loud enough to summon the power of the Miraculous.

Becoming Ladybug seemed to revive something inside of her as she felt a new buzz of energy move throughout her, pushing aside the heavy negative emotions which were keen on dragging her down. She aimed and pitched her yo-yo, pulled herself up onto the top of the building nearest to her and took off running, her mind set on catching up to Chat Noir who seemed unknowingly set on moving away from her at a rapid pace.

He was moving far too fast for a casual pace, almost as if he were running away from something. Away from her. 

Doubt took leverage on her mind and her movements began to slow down, the distance between them grew significantly before she concluded that she was being ridiculous. He hadn’t seen her so why would he be running away from her? He didn’t seem to realise he was being followed either which was a cause for concern. Usually Chat Noir’s senses were sharp, was something dulling them? Or was he distracted?

Marinette sucked in a breath before making up her mind, she took a running leap and swooped down right behind him, almost on his heels. “Cha-!” A terrifying force lunged upon her and she could only let the breath be choked out of her lungs as she was knocked down by the same baton that had saved her life yesterday.

 _Yesterday_ … Her head swam violently as she felt the rough surface beneath her swallow the impact of her fall only to force it upon her again. The clown had leapt in front of her, his fingers outstretched and straining to grab hold of her power, the one thing she relied upon to save lives that was too close to being snatched away from her. She had only been saved by her partner: “Chat Noir.” Her voice was a gasp that tore out of her throat, her energy had been dampened tremendously, the buzz completely knocked out of her to the extent she couldn’t even muster the strength to drag herself up.

The cold of the surface that was seeping into her was quickly replaced by a sudden warmth that enclosed itself around her arms and spread along to her hands. 

“Ladyb- I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was you- Can you get up?” The panic was evident in Chat Noir’s outburst. If Marinette hadn’t felt so disorientated she would have found the scene rather amusing as it was a reverse of what had happened yesterday. _Yesterday_.

“I’m fine, Chat, really,” and to prove her point she pulled herself up – with help from Chat Noir who had a firm grip on her arm and was scanning her for any injury. She wasn't lying. It was true, she was fine in the context that she wasn't hurt. “I’m sorry for coming out of nowhere.”

“Don’t apologise! I’m sorry for… For _that_. I don’t know what came over me- it’s just… You have nothing to be sorry for.”

‘Oh, but I _do_ ,’ Marinette mused silently, instead choosing to give her partner a small reassuring smile before trying to move on. “Is there an Akuma? What are you doing out here?” After seeing Chat’s tense body posture she felt a prick of guilt; it wasn’t her business. Why had she interfered with him? But she couldn't take back her words, she was Ladybug and Ladybug was everything she was not in her everyday life. Confident. Collected. But in that moment she didn't feel confident or collected at all, and it seemed that Chat Noir didn't either.

"There's no attack - it's just... It's what I do sometimes," seeing Chat Noir be at a loss for words did something to Marinette and her stomach churned in worry.

"Are you alright?" She definitely couldn't take those words back now. She let her face soften, let the walls that barricaded her from him crash down. Suddenly, everything seemed much to still. It almost felt surreal; the usual self-assured Superhero duo be defeated by their own feelings.

Chat Noir retracted a little and she instantly felt her breath fall short. "I'm fine. Are you? Fine, that is?" The only thing Marinette processed from his comment was that Chat Noir was, devastatingly, not alright. And neither was she. And in that moment, her Ladybug persona may have been downtrodden, but in no way would she ever stoop so low as to become a liar.

"No. No, Chat. I'm not alright," her admittance was cathartic, she realised, as she could divulge vague realities of her situation to an outsider whom she trusted. Hopefully, her partner felt the same way about her. She turned from the sky to him, looking at him from over her shoulder with her body facing the edge of the rooftop, from his widened eyes she knew she looked as wretched as she felt. "I've really messed up."

Her partner exhaled a sharp breath of something akin to shock, pausing momentarily to soak up Ladybug's radiance. The moonlight didn't cast off rays like the sun would, but hanging just above Ladybug's head, it cast her figure with an ethereal outline, her eyes behind the mask were blue, a darker blue hue than usual due to the night  skies - or perhaps it was the pain glistening in them, calling out mutedly for help. Why was she hurting? Was she hurting just like he was? 

A sudden gust of wind blustered about, not strong enough to blow the heavy atmosphere away though. "Me too," his voice was weak yet loud enough to carry through to her ears, the wind moved through her hair and the moonlight veil around her caught the movement. Artificial lighting and the robotic flash of a camera could not compare to the raw beauty that Ladybug captured in everything she did. Nature seemed to know of her and ensured that she would be caught in its grace and blessed with its touch. Not like him. He stained everything he came in contact with; the only thing he could do well was destroying the things he loved. "I've messed up, too."

There was a brief mutual silence before Ladybug lowered herself over the edge. "Care to join me?" Naturally, Chat Noir took up the invitation and sat beside her, but not too close, she noticed.

"You saved my life yesterday," she began, thinking it was the safest place to start. She kept her eyes trained on the skies, latching onto clouds that the wind had began to drag by. "That clown almost got hold of my Miraculous, and I did nothing to stop him. If you hadn't thrown your baton, he would have gotten my power and Hawk Moth would have my Miraculous. It was so close, Chat."

Chat Noir was watching her, opened his mouth, only to close it again. He followed her gaze and watched the clouds instead. "I... You've saved my life so many times. There've been so many 'so close' moments. Lets just make that one one of many," he attempted a joke before turning back to her. "I know that people rely on us, and it makes it even harder, but as long as they're safe now, that's all that matters."

Marinette blinked, her eyes were dry and suddenly they were becoming blurry. A softening began at her very core, sweeping over her tightened nerves and easing them out. It was true, after all. It wasn't just about her, it was about the two of them; they were a team. There were going to be many close calls, but if they stuck together and relied on each other's powers as well as their own, then surely they would always pull through? 

"And, by the way, were you okay yesterday?" Chat seemed uncertain. "You seemed a bit... Off, when you yelled at the clown. I mean, you've never really done _that_ before."  
Her partner was very observant which made Marinette want to thank him but to also yo-yo straight off of the rooftop, bolt away, and join a circus of her own. She was hoping to calm down and then ask Chat about why he wasn't alright, not to talk about the woe's of yesterday! However, it appeared to her then that she was being ridiculous and she couldn't keep ignoring a blatant problem she would have to face when she returned to school.

"Oh, _that_ ," she began, like she had forgotten and wasn't something that had been plaguing her for the last 24 hours. "I just had a really bad day and was hoping to sleep it off," she made it sound as nonchalant as possible but it was obvious there was something more to it. A quick glance to Chat Noir deemed that he was extremely curious but was resisting the urge to press into it, which she admired. "I... Read something that was written by somebody I know and I misinterpreted it to be about another person and I went and told them. And now I've lead them to believe something that isn't true, and I'm extremely sorry - but I don't know how to tell them." 

Although she had been brief, she felt several pinpricks of paranoia run its way over her skin, worried she had exposed too much. But it was impossible that Chat Noir would know what she was talking about, and who she was talking about, and why it even mattered so much, so why was she worried?

She had only told him as much as she could. No way would she tell him that the boy of her affections may possibly know of the feelings that she harboured for him, there was also no way that she could tell her partner that she had unintentionally started a rumour of Juleka having a secret admirer and that her whole class knew about it. If she told Juleka the truth, there was a risk that she would be known as a liar - she was positive that Chloé would turn the story around so that it looked like Marinette wanted attention and for Juleka to look bad. If Chloé had somehow found out about Juleka having an admirer, then she would surely found out if Marinette confessed to it being her fault.

She struggled to remain silent and to bite back a frustrated sigh, it would be too out of character for Ladybug, even if Ladybug had even admitted to not being okay.

"If it's not true, they're going to find out someway or another," Chat spoke after the moment of silence in which Marinette had been sifting through incoherent thought after another in her mind. "It's best they hear the truth from you. That way you can explain what really happened." Chat sounded completely earnest and Marinette's chest expanded as she breathed out deeply, along with heavy air she also exhaled her stresses which had tightly coiled around all of her internal organs, squeezing them and causing an ache inside of her. And with Chat's advice which seemed glaringly obvious now, the ache which had resided inside of her stomach seemed to disintegrate and be replaced with warmth. 

She had a solution now, and she could deal with whatever Chloé threw at her until another rumour began to circulate. The only seed that was planted inside of her and threatened to grow into tendrils of embarrassment and shame was the fact that the next rumour would be true - if it were about Marinette's feelings for Adrien. Marinette just hoped that Nathanael would stay true to his word and not tell anyone but if he had found out then how long would it be until more people did?

"Thanks, Chat," Marinette breathed, trying to put aside the assumptions brewing in her mind. Assuming things had only created more problems for her, and Juleka. "Really, thank you." A smile seeped through. Chat Noir found his breath hitching as Ladybug let out a radiant smile for the first time he had seen her today, the atmosphere lightened considerably and the dark haze in his mind cleared. 

"What about you?" She asked eventually, tearing her gaze from the stars to meet his eyes to find him already staring. He blinked rapidly and tried to find the thread of the conversation. Ladybug chuckled at his bewildered expression and flicked his bell playfully, "why are you out here alone, kitty?" Her smile was warm, welcoming, accepting, and her eyes showed concern. A clawing began at Chat Noir's heart at the reminder of what existed outside of time with Ladybug.

"To get away from things," he was surprised at how easily she had riddled the truth from him. "Away from expectations and.... Thoughts," he stretched and pointedly looked to the opposite buildings. "Getting away from physical things works, but not so much for thoughts." He said it light-heartedly enough which only caused Marinette's chest to collapse in on itself further.

"Chat," she began firmly. "Look at me." And so he did, albeit hesitantly. "We can't become what people want us to be if it's not who we are. It's different with the Miraculous; these powers are always inside of us - who we really are. Whoever you are," she searched his face thoroughly before locking onto his green, green eyes and continuing, "you are enough. As Chat Noir and as your regular self." As she spoke she drilled the meanings into herself as well, convincing herself that she was not a burden on Adrien if he found out how she felt about him. She could still keep Juleka's friendship even after admitting to her mistake. She could get an amazing grade in her project with Kim. As Marinette, she was enough. It was the same for Chat Noir and she wanted him to know that.

Marinette wanted to give a final thank you before retreating back home into the warmth of her house, undoubtedly she would receive a scolding from her parents, but she had never wanted to return to the snug of her bed so badly in all of her life. Marinette, however, didn't anticipate receiving warmth from two arms that wound themselves around her neck and a head burying itself into her neck. "Woah, kitty. Are you alright?" Cautiously, she lifted an arm to his head and lightly tugged against his hair. _So soft_ , she registered before pulling away as if burned and moving her hand towards his back and letting it rest there instead.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into her neck. She could feel how low his voice was, her hand felt the pulsations of his vocalisation, like a cat purring. She held back a smile.

"It's okay, Chat. Truly," she pulled back slightly, holding his shoulders firmly. His eyes were glistening and she felt as if she were intruding. "I have to get back now. You should too. Are you going to be alright?" 

Her partner looked at her, his eyes were clearing and glimmered in the moonlight. "I'll be just fine. Purrfect, in fact, m'lady," his signature grin crossed his face before replacing it with a smaller smile. "Thank you, Ladybug."

Marinette found that she couldn't look away, there was something so raw in his eyes and something so real in his tone. She graced him with an honest smile before grabbing her yo-yo, "no. Thank _you_ , Chat." He nodded at her and she took it as her cue to swing herself onto the opposite building and jump onto the street below it, out of sight. After de-transforming in yet another darkened alley, Marinette found herself sprinting home, her body feeling less condensed without the dull ache dragging her down. All thanks to Chat Noir.

Her parents were less strict than she thought they would have been, and only after receiving a light scolding she realised they were more relieved to have her back. She was allowed to go off to her room after they exchanged a hug, which she relished, and after getting changed into her pyjama's and feeding Tikki - who still wasn't speaking to her - some chocolate chip cookies did she realise how tired she was. Tikki seemed to be rather energetic, however, and Marinette allowed the door to the balcony to be left open for Tikki to get some fresh air.

"Goodnight, Tikki!" Marinette called, slightly surprised Tikki had managed to restrain herself from giving Marinette another pep talk yet not expecting a reply. When she received one she was a little taken aback but only after collapsing onto her pillow did she realise what Tikki had just said.

She shot up at once, her eyes wide meeting Tikki's whose eyes were even wider. "Marinette! Chat Noir is on your balcony! I just about got away before he saw me! Did he follow you back? There's already one person who knows your secret, there can't possibly be another one! _Especially_ not Chat Noir!" The red Kwami was hissing with a panicked edge which only riled Marinette up further as she began to pull on her face. If Marinette hadn't entered full-fledged panic mode she would have been able to dissect Tikki's whole point - which, undoubtedly, would have only led to a breakdown.

"Tikki! Quick, hide! The hatch is still open!" Tikki darted over to Marinette's purse and nestled inside of it.

"Marinette! Talk to him! Pretend you were going to lock the hatch and thought you heard something! Find out if he knows anything- discreetly!"

Marinette hauled herself up from her bed, her eyes trained on the open door. She gulped audibly and nodded sternly to herself, and to Tikki, mustering up the courage. It wasn't Chat Noir that was making her nervous. It was the fact that everything had happened in such a short amount of time, like all the events were crammed in together. It was ridiculous, actually, but Marinette was too frazzled to get angry. 

"Okay," she said more to herself than Tikki. "I was just locking the hatch. Chat Noir is on my balcony. Why. Why?" Her ramblings became less and less coherent as she stepped reluctantly towards the open hatch. Eventually, she stopped muttering, gulped down a large breath, and began to climb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow i actually updated on time??? im not sure when the next will be but im going to be wrapping this up pretty soon after a few things are sorted out. thanks for the support i feel all warm and slightly less dead inside, so i shall see u when i see u (cuz i suck at updates sorry :( )


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had to split this into two chapters, but wow, lookie at thatie, adrien is all angsty! he's all depressed and i felt bad writing this; LET HIM EAT CROISSANTS AND RECEIVE HUGS RIJGKWE   
> thank u for reading this mess, next chapter will be the last!

How had he received a reply to a poem that he had scrunched up and threw away was a question he reiterated to himself on a daily basis. It had been a response to the same poem he had trashed in the bin in his classroom which meant that somebody had to have fished it out, read it, wrote up a reply and mailed it to him.

At first glance his heart had threatened to give out and the hope inside of his chest sparked and grew until it consumed him. The hope that the anonymous sender was, in fact, Ladybug. That thought alone was enough to send him on a high; the chance that his feelings were requited. It was only later on in the week when he was sitting in class, his mind lulling due to a dull lecture, where the happy thought slipped into his head and quickly turned sour as he realised the obvious, which was so glaring without the false security of the girl of his dreams feeling the same exact way towards him, not his fame.

Ladybug did not know his true identity, as he did not know hers. So, how could she possibly know where he lived? How could she have retrieved a poem that had been left inside the same classroom he was sitting in?

The final truth dawned on him, dragging along humiliation: Ladybug had not sent him a poem in return. Ladybug did not feel the same way for him as he did her, and probably never would. He had been so wrapped up in his elevation that he had allowed himself to be blinded from the truth, and now his brain had shook out the knots of the thread, he was left with the cold, stark reality.

But before the unyielding sense of shame overtook him his brain conked out one last final thought. If Ladybug hadn’t sent it, then who had?

He felt his nerves and tissue tighten as he restrained himself from peering around the classroom. Surely it couldn’t have been any of his classmates, could it? Of course, the main suspect was Chloé but she was usually so direct with her advances, why would she bother sending him an unusually sweet poem that went left unsigned? Perhaps she roped Sabrina into writing it… But still, it didn’t sit right with him – why would Chloé want to reply to a poem that was clearly about another girl? He ruled her out for now.

Maybe it wasn’t even anybody in his class. When the rubbish was collected at the end of the day, maybe the poem had fallen out in along the way, but as he could not recall ever spotting rubbish lying around in the brightened hours of the school morning after the rubbish had been collected, he failed to see this as a high possibility.

Why did it even matter? He had received multitudes of love letters for Valentine’s Day, if it wasn’t from Ladybug, why did he care? A curdle of shame and guilt shot through him upon having the poisonous thought. People had spent their time and money on wishing him a Happy Valentine’s Day and he didn’t even have the courtesy to be grateful. Maybe that’s why his mother had gone. Vanished in shame of raising such a dishonourable son.

These type of thoughts were ridiculous, and he knew that, but that didn’t stop them from rekindling themselves in his mind. Breeding and mingling with each other, the toxic venom seeping through until his lungs filled up too quickly and he couldn’t breathe properly, each staggering breath harder than the last for his greedy lungs to snatch in untainted air only to be polluted once inhaled.

His mum had loved him, and he loved her, but it seemed that it couldn’t be enough because she wasn’t with him anymore. Lashing out and blaming his father for her disappearance would be a whole new level of ignorance and stupidity. No. He had no one to blame but himself.

The first time his mind had been wiped clean of darkness happened in the same classroom a short amount of time later. He had been partnered with Juleka for a Literature project and while thoughts lay burden on him his mouth took over, it tended to happen a lot nowadays. He hadn’t been paying much attention to his surroundings, only noticing that Kim and Marinette were occupying the row in front of him and that Juleka wasn’t the biggest fan of eye contact.

He had only been properly brought into the present when a hammering cough registered in his ears and the sound of Kim’s panicked voice became prominent in a room full of chatter. Marinette was flushed from choking and Adrien felt nothing but an instinctive urge to help. He had offered her a drink from his water bottle, an offer which she had declined. Her coughing fit seemed to have frazzled her, though, as her words were practically tripping over themselves in an attempt to flee her mouth. She retreated as if a magnet were pulling her away, although being intercepted by Chloé’s outstretched leg.

Adrien attempted to invest himself into the project again, but his mind kept being redirected into aimless corners. He couldn’t concentrate but he was determined to not let it show. At some point Marinette had returned and Kim turned around to talk to Juleka and he, his recollection was blurry what he did notice that was prominent was that the girl in front seemed reluctant to join their conversation. He didn’t understand as to why.

Their conversation steered onto the Superhero Duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir, which Marinette seemed more intrigued with, her hesitance seeming to fade away. Kim began to recall his encounters with Paris’ only Superheroes, to which Adrien jumped to the rescue and directed the topic away from dangerous waters as Kim admitted to not remembering the nature of their meeting, and as to why he had met them in the first place.

And then something happened. Marinette had delved in with an incoherent spiel which even she seemed taken aback with, to which Juleka had responded with an utmost hesitance. She had confessed that she was practically invisible. Adrien felt himself frown and was about to place a hand on her shoulder and ensure she knew the value of herself but he was beat to it as a hand shot into his vision and placed itself on top of Juleka’s gloved hand.

Marinette had her facial expression set into firm determination and the words that spilt from her mouth seemed to be crafted from concern and reassuring resolution. Her hair framed her face in a picturesque way which Adrien was sure a camera crew and a team of makeup artists would have no faults with. She seemed so sure, so certain. The fire inside of him which had been dampened seemed to be fuelled and rekindled. _Ladybug._

And then the look was gone only to be replaced by Marinette’s uncertain mouth twitching and her eyebrows raised in alarm as if she couldn’t believe what she done. Adrien sat in shock, his eyes latched onto Marinette as she apologised profusely like she had acted out a wrong-doing. He felt lighter, somehow, his mind emptied from vicious thoughts. Her words resonated inside of him: “You are seen, don't believe that you're not!"

For the first time in a while long, Adrien let himself believe that it was true. People did care, and it wasn’t his fault that his mum had disappeared. In fact, maybe it was no one’s fault.

Adrien felt time spin away from him, his concept of seconds and minutes poured out through his ears. He let liberation wash through him as he watched Kim and Juleka leave their seats and ventured down to the front. He found his attention focused onto the girl in front of him who appeared to be intent on making herself smaller. Before he even knew what he was doing he had called out her name. He saw her tense but eventually she turned around, her eyes not settling on his. The fire within him died slightly now that he had no idea on what he wanted to do or say. It was like he couldn’t do anything right.

He excused himself but Marinette didn’t buy into it, asking him if he was sure there was nothing he wanted to say. This time, she looked at him, and into him, searching his face and scanning his soul, it was like she held everything that was him in her hands – and he found himself trusting her on not crushing him. Something that Ladybug made him feel. But fate was never that kind, and the same vicious thoughts began to circulate within his mind again, there was no way that the kind-hearted girl in front of him was Ladybug, Ladybug wouldn’t waste her time on an ungrateful, miserable low-life like him.

His own thoughts were making him feel suffocated. The words fell out without meaning too but he couldn’t take them back, nor could he pretend as if he hadn’t said them. “You reminded me of someone.” _Someone I can’t have. Someone who doesn’t want me_.

Those same thoughts were what fuelled him into throwing himself into an aimless sprint atop the rooftops of Paris. Racing away from the words in his brain, eating away at his tissue. But, as per usual, it never worked. He couldn't flee from the truth that chased him, nailed him down and clawed at him until he was left barren.

Something new began gnawing at him, latching itself onto his neck and twitching inexplicably. The thoughts had manifested themselves into a dark chaotic monster and its claw were out, aiming to slice through him, being charged by his own power to destroy. No, _no_! He couldn't be destroyed by his own power, he had to use it to fight back against Hawkmoth, without his power he was _nothing._

He rebounded back against the pressure he had mounted from running and used his force to pounce upon his victim of chaos-

It was Ladybug. He had attacked Ladybug with malicious intentions, ready to strike, aiming to _destroy._ He had almost ruined the power to create. He felt like his body didn't belong to himself anymore. A pondering, like a lightning bolt, flashed through his mind - what would happen if he used the power to destroy on himself?

He had helped her up, hands faltering trying to ensure that she was okay, and she wasn't hurt, and that he hadn't injured her but also trying not to linger - he shouldn't touch anything that he could break.

But it seemed that Ladybug was ruining herself. Her eyes harboured a deep sadness, and something akin to self-loathing lurked in them. He recognised it instantly as he held the same in his eyes.

When Ladybug's eyes had locked onto his, her silhouette highlighted by the moonlight's veil, and spoke with such certainty and assuredness that _he was enough_ , the grotesque thoughts that had pursued him relentlessly for months seemed to have melted. Like they had been thrown into the sun-like radiance of Ladybug and completely absorbed and then ripped apart, with no hope of being salvaged together with its poisonous glue.

He had reached out to... To grip her shoulder? To shake her hand? He had no idea, she seemed to piece apart any remaining sense. When he wrapped his arms around her it was to beg her for help and after she hesitated before reciprocating the hug, he felt life flood through him. New breath entered his lungs and they inflated with a new passion. A new thirst to _live_ , truly live without any degrading thought pulling him down.

Even when Ladybug departed, leaving him with a warm feeling which juxtaposed the cool air and gusty wind, did he still feel content, at peace with himself. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so free, sitting in the open air with no thoughts buzzing in his mind. He relished the weightless feel of the air flowing into him.

Ladybug's heat still clung to him, enfolding him in a familiar feeling of snugness, reminding him of his mother's hugs. Ladybug seemed so sure of herself, and so sure of him as well. He had never met anybody like her, the girl was honest-hearted, confident and had the same need to protect flaming inside of her as he had. Dark hair which the reflective beams of moonlight enunciated, and dark eyes that glimmered with an assertive shimmer of hope.

And that was when something gripped at his heart and the weightless air tightened in his lungs before struggling to break free.

The whole scene, minus the masks and the moonlight, seemed achingly familiar and just as quickly as he realised this, he realised something else. Suddenly, everything fit together, the pieces of puzzle sliding into each other. The things that Ladybug admitted and the rumour today at school.

The poem about Ladybug that he had thrown in the bin of his classroom only for it to mysteriously gain a reply and be delivered to his address.

The exact same affirmed look in her eyes, set on restoring broken spirits. Sprouting life from delicate fingertips.

Astounded with his epiphany, Adrien had no idea what to do. Until he realised he knew _exactly_ what he had to do.


	8. Chapter 8

The night sky seemed to be as if he were looking up with a whole new perspective. It didn't look inky black anymore and it no longer threatened to engulf him in the sinister colour of death. Instead the hazy clouds hung in the air lazily, as if the sky were lulling them to sleep with its stars that sparkled and told of worlds away.

Waiting, perched on Marinette's balcony was something that had never crossed his mind. But now it was an actuality, it was rather peaceful. He didn't know if she would even know he was outside, but something told him to stay patient, his eyes fixed on the stars overhead.

Eventually, his ears perked up as he heard footfalls on the steps leading towards the balcony. Towards him. He didn't crane his neck and tilt his head to see who it was: there was only one person it could be, and besides, he sensed it was the person he was looking for.

"Ch-Chat Noir!" Marinette gasped out, she sounded nervous, but not scared, although she had every right to be. "What are you...?" The question went unspoken and hung in the air uncertainly. She made no move to reposition herself next to him.

"The stars are nice tonight. You can see them clearly for once," he didn't have to be showy or play up to his charm, not that he minded doing so, of course. But in this moment, he'd rather be open.

"That's true," she sounded wistful so he assumed that she was peering at them as well, but she seemed to regain her footing and summoned her purpose. "Why don't you go and appreciate them at home? It's getting late," she sounded too manic to be making a firm statement. She must have known he was out here then. "Even Superheroes must have curfew."

"Do you want me too?" He turned to face her for the first time. She was looking bewildered, her facial expression stretched in disbelief. Her pyjamas were light, too light for the slight, cold wind. "Do you want me to go?" He was only slightly hinting; he couldn't do this without her permission otherwise trust would be worthless.

"I-" Her mouth was agape and she couldn't seem to find an answer. So instead she settled on moving towards him, stopping when she reached the handrail. "Why are you here, Chat Noir?" There was a tinge of defeat in her words and she didn't seem so wound tight anymore. She glanced up at him when he didn't answer – he couldn't find the words - and gave a slight, reassuring smile. "There must be a reason. There are better views than here; just because you're a Superhero doesn't mean you can go anywhere, you know," a light reprimanding was just what he needed to send his lips twitching into a smile.

"I'll go soon. I just needed to be here." Marinette nodded at his response, acting cool and nonchalant and his smile only widened as he watched her pretence before her eyebrows furrowed and she looked from the stars to him, "what? Why?"

He swiftly began, "Ladybug has saved my life so many times. Not just mine, countless people all over France. Her existence brightens mine and sometimes I worry she doesn't know how appreciated she is. Not just by the expectations placed on her, but by what she does and who she is - who she _really_ is. She's human, just like I am, but she works on her flaws and encourages others to do the same..." He trailed off, his heart swelling in pride with hesitance climbing up and down his veins before he shot the words into the mounting atmosphere: "I think- I think that she's a Superhero in both lives."

"Chat..." Her voice was breathy, and he didn't look at her - because he couldn't, everything was much too raw - but he thought she might have been crying. He wished he could do the same.

"And that's why I'll stand by her. In both lives," he finished, focussing on the flicker of a streetlight below before it blew out completely, drenching them in total darkness. The moon blocked by the buildings meaning that any prying eye could no longer see the two on the balcony.

The impact appeared to hit the girl next to him all at once. At first she stood silently, her face turned away, and then she shifted into a military-like position, her back straight and her head forward. He looked to her, puzzled. Her eyes were wide, and she was shaking slightly, not just in the cold.

“W-well, Ladybug is certainly lucky to have you,” is all she said in spite of her sudden change in attitude. She refused to meet his eyes, instead staring at the building across the road. There was something in the atmosphere that had changed as well, and he had an inkling that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“We trust each other,” he started, training his vision on her. “That trust has saved lives, and will continue to do so. Trust is something that Hawkmoth doesn’t have. That trust will carry on into both lives and that means that we will defeat Hawkmoth, together.” His voice held a sincerity because he so clearly believed it, he needed her to know how he felt; he couldn’t continue knowing a secret which was so closely guarded whilst pretending not to know, it would surely only re-concoct those thoughts Ladybug had eradicated.

Marinette looked nothing but conflicted. Her eyes trained still, her lip bit in thought. He was about to tackle the subject of keeping secrets before she seemed to be reanimated and a flush of colour appeared on her cheeks. “Wait _right_ here! I won’t be long!” And with that she sprinted off of the balcony and disappeared down the hatch, swinging it shut behind her.

He blinked at the suddenness of it all before resigning himself to do as she had instructed. A feeling of nervousness began to crawl up his skin; he didn’t know what to expect. It wasn’t as if he had time to plan anything out.

It must have been a minimum of ten minutes before the creak of the hatch was heard again. His head snapped towards the sound instinctively and he was met with the sight of Marinette climbing upwards, cradling something in her hands.

“Before I do this, I just...” Marinette trailed off hesitantly and a nervous jitter of laughter came rushing out. “I never expected this to... I don’t know what will happen; this has never happened before, apparently,” he caught on and his eyes widened in aghast against his own will. “I think that this is for the best – and you do, too?” She questioned, locking eyes with him. She looked adorably unsure and he nodded with resilience, wordlessly.

She let out a long stream of air whilst maintaining eye contact before opening her cupped hands. A form of red burst out and hovered in mid-air by Marinette’s head. _A Kwami_. Red with black spots, large blue eyes. _Ladybug._

He collapsed from the balcony’s handrail, his eyebrows disappearing into his hair. Everything had been confirmed in a split second and he was dizzy from the heightening euphoria.

Marinette’s eyes darted from her Kwami to his reeling form. “This is Tikki,” she said eventually, her voice unusually timid, trying to approach the matter delicately. “Tikki, like I said, he already knew. I think...”

Her Kwami zipped closer to her in frustration. “Marinette!” She exclaimed before whizzing over to him a few feet away. “ _Did_ you know?”

He found himself nodding, unable to answer. It deemed good enough for the black-dotted Kwami who searched his face with her keen eyes and then retreating back to Marinette’s side.

“If you knew of Ladybug’s identity, it can’t be a secret anymore – it’s an unequal balance of trust between partners which would jeopardise your mission to keep Paris safe,” Tikki explained, looking justifiably unhappy about the situation. “This has never happened before in the history of the Miraculous!”

“Well, Chat Noir won’t tell anyone!” Marinette pointed out, attempting to comfort her distressed Kwami. “And surely, if anything, this new bond of trust will make us stronger? How do you know this is going to turn out badly if it has never happened before?” She asked. He looked to Tikki, Marinette had made a good point.

“It’s a rule of the Miraculous! That’s _why_ it’s never happened before!” Was Tikki’s line of reasoning.

“But it _has_ happened, and I needed to let Marinette know,” it sounded strange addressing Ladybug with her true name whilst in a mask. It was also strangely comforting how the image of Marinette and Ladybug didn’t juxtapose each other in his head, instead they were one and the same. The feelings he had for Ladybug didn’t falter because Marinette was Ladybug, in fact they seemed to be liberated because Marinette _was_ Ladybug. “And Marinette’s right; surely this will only make us stronger?”

Tikki looked from him to the dark-haired girl, whose eyes were shining, before frowning avidly and sighing in defeat. “I can’t do anything to stop you, can I?” Marinette seemed guilty but her answer was obvious. “You two better look out for each other twice as much, okay?” Tikki gave her consent with fierce boldness. She hovered back over to Chat Noir, seemingly sizing him up.

“The only thing left is... Chat Noir, who are you?” Tikki’s declaration caused Marinette to chew her cheek and trace the pattern of her pyjama bottoms with a shaking finger.

He walked over to her and set his hands on her shoulders. She didn’t flinch away, only stared up at him curiously, her cheeks sucked in with assumed nervousness. “Are you ready?” He asked her, his heart thundering due to their proximity and what he was about to do.

Her eyes darted around his face before stepping away, removing his hands from her. Her touch lingered on his gloved hands as she traced them before pulling away. He assumed it was supposed to be a comforting gesture but it only caused his pulse to beat more prominently. “Whenever you are,” was her reply, her voice tight with nerves. Tikki sat atop of her shoulder, intent on watching.

He focussed on her, his throat jolted as he swallowed. But he felt no regret, no shame of who he really was as the light consumed him and then faded away - ricocheting and pronouncing hues of blue in Marinette’s eyes - leaving him unmasked.

 

*＊*

 

Marinette hadn’t expected her apology to Juleka to go swimmingly. She had predicted that she would have to beg for forgiveness, and if it were refused, then it was what she deserved.

So when her expectations were blown out of the water and all Juleka did was knot her eyebrows in confusion, her copper eyes latching onto Marinette’s blue ones for a few seconds longer than usual before dropping eye contact, before accepting her apology, Marinette felt relief cause her body to shudder.

“It’s okay, Marinette. It was just a misunderstanding, thank you for telling me.” Marinette felt like she were ascending, and Rose who was positioned next to Juleka looked as if she were doing the same at the news that the rumour regarding Juleka having a secret admirer and a boyfriend was squashed. “To be honest it’s a relief to know it’s not true,” Juleka admitted.

Before departing Marinette had winked at Rose who jittered and blushed, edging closer to Juleka who looked unusually flushed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Alya playfully nudged Marinette who had just come back to her locker after having a debate with Nathanael about the usefulness of different brands of paintbrushes. She felt safe in his promise that he would protect her secret of being Ladybug. “Are you feeling ‘chippier’ today as well?” She was teasing although relieved to see that Marinette was not rocking on the balls of her feet, like she was before the weekend.

Marinette laughed and nudged Alya back. “I’m just feeling lucky today,” she said, her smile wide and free. Alya clapped her on her back and began recalling the latest Akuma attack when Marinette burst out in infectious waves of laughter that soon had Alya joining in. Chloé turned her nose up at them and flounced off with Sabrina in tow.

“Girl, what was that?” Alya whipped away a stray tear from her eye, her voice shaky with giggles. Marinette was flushed and was about to answer when a sleek car pulled up at the front of school. Her heart began to race, pulling blood throughout her body into an intense relay.

“I’m going to ask Adrien on a date,” she announced suddenly, the statement even surprising her but not knocking back the confidence enfolding her. Alya’s eyes widened and were magnified by her glasses.

“Well, _finally_!” Alya enunciated, grinning with pride. “Remember, if he doesn’t take you up on it, he doesn’t deserve you.” Usually, this would have deterred her and stopped her in her tracks at the overwhelming thought of rejection. But today was different because last night, everything had changed.

“Thank you, Alya,” a warm smile slid onto her face. “You’re an amazing friend and I’m lucky to have you.”

Alya smiled back, showing her appreciation before shoving Marinette out of the doors. “Stop stalling! You can show me how much of an amazing friend I am by calling me and telling me _everything_ after the date!” Marinette giggled as she marched down the steps - a Superhero stride.

Rejection didn’t stall her anymore. She felt as if she couldn’t be afraid of anything. Her and Adrien belonged together as much as Ladybug and Chat Noir did – they were a destined team and she never as strongly believed that the Miraculous had brought them together for a reason.

Adrien was met by Nino who was stopped mid-conversation by a tap on his shoulder. “Hi, um, sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could talk to Adrien quickly?” Her resoluteness diminished into a pool of mush which certainly wasn’t present last night. Only her surprise that without the mask, Chat Noir looked a lot like Adrien Agreste. And then when he burst out in glorious laughter at the gob smacked expression on her face did she realise that Chat Noir _was_ , in fact, Adrien Agreste.

Nino cocked an eyebrow and turned back to Adrien before agreeing, “sure, Marinette.” He patted her on the shoulder before walking over to Alya who whisked him away from the scene.

The grin on Adrien’s face was practically blinding her and her eyes darted around nervously before she gained her momentum again. She looked up at him and her breath hitched almost painfully. His eyes were so _green_. Without a mask, with a mask. It seemed so surreal. “Um, Adrien,” she began.

“Yes?” He encouraged, trying not to steady her with his hands on her shoulders.

“So, you like coffee. I mean – _do_ you like coffee?” She fumbled, trying not to kick herself due to failing to plaster on a cool exterior.

‘ _I like you_ ,’ is what he refrained from saying with great difficulty. “Yes!” He said, his enthusiasm transparent and hurting his ears.

“So would you like to get coffee with me?” Was what they both said in unison before freezing, looking at each other in mild confusion and cracking up in hysterical laughter which diffused the tension greatly.

“Yes, I would like that very much,” Marinette got out, a shy smile on her lips as Adrien cleared his throat.

“Great! Great,” he fished for words to say whilst Marinette seemed to be doing the same.

If only there were a way to state of all these thoughts and feelings in a way that sounded _right_ and not sound completely idiotic.

Marinette quirked her eyebrows and raised her lips slyly, “so, I’ll bring the paper?”

Adrien beamed down at her, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll bring the pens.”

There was a moment where they both soaked up each other’s presence, not having to worry about the stresses of school or being a Superhero duo. It was just them, and it felt so _unerring_. No blundering messes as a result of wild assumptions. Just complete, absolute trust and a blossoming of sparks shot between them.

Adrien personally thought that Marinette’s blue, blue eyes had never looked so radiant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and two dorks wrote poetry about each other and drank coffee and got over shyness with an infectious caffeine rush and then fought crime with love and trust
> 
> did.... did oblivious!mari finally get the hint that chat noir knew her identity????? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
> 
> so this is the end of the train wreck woop woop, i made sure to use every cliche in ML fanfiction because it is beautiful and i am too uncreative to think of another way of doing an identity reveal. but also i just wanted to do a marichat balcony scene LIKE THE ONE WE'RE GONNA GET IN S2??? (there were pictures in animation process that showed it???? and i wanted it so badly so i threw it in here ;) )
> 
> i take requests on lucihive6 on tumblr so if u want me to write something inbox me and ill get to writing it cuz procrastination and writing fanfiction are my only friends :)))))))) 
> 
> anyway thank u so much for reading and supporting this, and i hope you enjoyed!


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